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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

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JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting philosophy, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website ( [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) ) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) and [JanetLansbury] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) . Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Bump, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Copyright JLML Press (2023) All Rights Reserved

#303

Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help

Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to [Acorns.com/unruffled] (http://www.acorns.com/unruffled) . ---BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to [BetterHelp.com/Respect] (http://www.betterhelp.com/Respect) . Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

19 Sep 2023

36 MINS

36:37

19 Sep 2023

#302

Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right

A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---K12 Powered Schools: Tuition-free online accredited public schools for kindergarten through 12th grade at: [K12.com/UNRUFFLED] (http://www.K12.com/UNRUFFLED) ---Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to [Acorns.com/unruffled] (http://www.acorns.com/unruffled) . ---BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to [BetterHelp.com/Respect] (http://www.betterhelp.com/Respect) . Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

12 Sep 2023

25 MINS

25:55

12 Sep 2023

#301

Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud...

Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a nonanxious presence (because our "calm is contagious"). Dr. Stixrud is the founder of [The Stixrud Group] (https://stixrud.com/staff/william-r-stixrud/) , a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to [Acorns.com/unruffled] (http://www.Acorns.com/unruffled) . ---BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to [BetterHelp.com/Respect] (http://www.BetterHelp.com/Respect) . ---Ritual: 30% off your first month of Symbiotic Plus at [Ritual.com/respect] (http://www.Ritual.com/respect) . Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

05 Sep 2023

48 MINS

48:04

05 Sep 2023

#300

How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One

Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Go to [K12.com/UNRUFFLED] (http://www.k12.com/unruffled) today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

29 Aug 2023

19 MINS

19:07

29 Aug 2023

#299

Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney

As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished. Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Go to [K12.com/UNRUFFLED] (http://www.k12.com/unruffled) today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you. ---The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: [TLN.care/unruffled] (https://lactationnetwork.com/) Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

22 Aug 2023

31 MINS

31:08

22 Aug 2023

#298

Teaching Kids About Personal Space

Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Go to [K12.com/UNRUFFLED] (http://www.k12.com/unruffled) today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you ---Ritual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit [ritual.com/RESPECT] (http://www.ritual.com/RESPECT) ---The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: [TLN.care/unruffled] (https://lactationnetwork.com/) Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

15 Aug 2023

21 MINS

21:39

15 Aug 2023

#297

Fears Around Starting School

A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits, “I have no words and don’t know the right thing to do or say.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---Ritual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit ritual.com/RESPECT ---The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: [TLN.care/unruffled] (https://lactationnetwork.com/) Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

08 Aug 2023

19 MINS

19:51

08 Aug 2023

#296

Parent Traps

Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle. Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when her son is in tantrum mode, she gently stops him from hitting and kicking, but afterwards, he complains that she is “pushing him.” He remains angry and shouts, “I don’t love you!” Janet identifies the common thread that could be causing these parents to doubt themselves and describes several additional examples parents have shared with her that fit this pattern. She offers suggestions for understanding and approaching these situations in a manner that ultimately curtails them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: [TLN.care/unruffled] (https://lactationnetwork.com/) Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

01 Aug 2023

23 MINS

23:26

01 Aug 2023

#295

Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)

Emma Nadler is a psychotherapist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eden, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned. Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including [Amazon] (https://www.amazon.com/Unlikely-Village-Eden-Memoir/dp/1949481816/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1XXLICLXH7V4Z&keywords=the+unlikely+village+of+eden&qid=1672884416&sprefix=the+unlikely+village+of+%2Caps%2C216&sr=8-1) . Please note: Listening to this episode in no way creates a client/therapist relationship with Emma Nadler. This is educational in nature. No legal, counseling, or other professional services are being rendered and nothing is intended to provide such services or advice of any kind. If you are having a mental health emergency, please contact 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. You can also text or call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (in the United States). Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: ---The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: [TLN.care/unruffled] (https://lactationnetwork.com/) Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

25 Jul 2023

39 MINS

39:02

25 Jul 2023

#294

What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)

When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

18 Jul 2023

38 MINS

38:19

18 Jul 2023

#293

Our Child Won't Listen

The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

11 Jul 2023

16 MINS

16:45

11 Jul 2023

#292

When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)

A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

05 Jul 2023

35 MINS

35:03

05 Jul 2023

#291

How To Help a Frustrated Child

It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience? Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

27 Jun 2023

20 MINS

20:07

27 Jun 2023

#290

Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)

“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence. Learn more about Angela's work and resources at: [FIOTbabiesconsulting.com] (https://www.fiotbabiesconsulting.com/) . Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://www.amazon.com/Elevating-Child-Care-Respectful-Parenting/dp/1499103670/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=elevating+child+care+a+guide+to+respectful+parenting&qid=1686027343&sr=8-1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

20 Jun 2023

37 MINS

37:10

20 Jun 2023

#289

Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)

Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence. Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at [TinaPayneBryson.com] (http://tinapaynebryson.com) and on her Instagram page: [TinaPayneBryson] (https://www.instagram.com/tinapaynebryson/) Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://www.amazon.com/Elevating-Child-Care-Respectful-Parenting/dp/1499103670/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=elevating+child+care+a+guide+to+respectful+parenting&qid=1686027343&sr=8-1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

13 Jun 2023

44 MINS

44:44

13 Jun 2023

#288

Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't

As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://www.amazon.com/Elevating-Child-Care-Respectful-Parenting/dp/1499103670/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=elevating+child+care+a+guide+to+respectful+parenting&qid=1686027343&sr=8-1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers: Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

06 Jun 2023

26 MINS

26:58

06 Jun 2023

#287

Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)

In this encore episode (from the height of the Covid pandemic): Psychologist, author, and TED Talk superstar [Susan David] (https://www.susandavid.com/) joins Janet to discuss how parents can nurture their children’s capacity to process difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences. “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” she says, but we can help our children develop resilience and a capability to navigate uncomfortable emotions so they’re no longer scary. Susan offers advice how parents can instill confidence and a sense of well-being. The process begins with awareness, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

30 May 2023

41 MINS

41:27

30 May 2023

#286

What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

23 May 2023

23 MINS

23:28

23 May 2023

#285

It's Not Too Late

Thoughtful parents write to Janet each week sharing concerns about relational dynamics they regret creating with their children. "Is it too late?" they ask. Janet's reply: "Never." In this encore episode, Janet responds to an email from the parent of three kids (12, 9, and 3) who has just recently found [Unruffled] (https://www.janetlansbury.com/2015/08/respectful-parenting-podcasts-janet-lansbury-unruffled/) . She writes: “Your methods and insights have been truly freeing and a paradigm shift in experience for me.” However, she realizes now that her parenting style has included shaming, inconsistencies, and a negative reaction to her kids’ emotions. She says her middle child especially is struggling as a result. She feels guilty and is wondering how to make things right. “How can I help them after all the damage I have done?“ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

16 May 2023

22 MINS

22:27

16 May 2023

#284

The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke)

Creating intimate bonds with our children is the primary parenting goal for most of us, and there are enormous benefits. Our kids are far more cooperative when they're regularly reminded that we see and accept them. The mutual trust we foster creates a sense of safety that helps our kids stay more grounded and self-regulated, so there won't be as much challenging behavior. When it does arise, it will be easier to resolve. Most important of all, our parent-child relationships will be deeper, richer, more rewarding, and lifelong. Janet's guest Dr. Taniesha Burke is a researcher and parent coach who has extensively studied how parent-child intimacy works and what we can do to increase it. Dr. Burke and Janet discuss these findings and how we can apply them with our children and in all our relationships. Taniesha's website is: [https://www.tanieshaburke.com] (https://www.tanieshaburke.com) Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at [Amazon] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=8LIAPW0QCRGU&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_2_11&sprefix=no+bad+kids%2Caps%2C300) , Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

09 May 2023

35 MINS

35:46

09 May 2023

#283

Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)

“When we understand the reasons we react to our children in the way we do, we can begin to change the way we parent.” Janet welcomes a return visit from trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey, who suffered throughout childhood and her teens from severe physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. As an adult, that horrific period of her life was wiped from her memory, but the birth of her twins triggered painful flashbacks. Elisabeth has not only championed her own recovery but dedicated her life and work to helping others—breaking the cycle of abuse through conscious parenting. Janet and Elizabeth share a brave conversation about how emotional suppression distances us from our true selves, which makes caring for our children much harder. Alternatively, awareness of our feelings leads to healing and sets us free. Elisabeth’s website is [BeatingTrauma.com] (http://www.beatingtrauma.com/) where she offers one-on-one coaching, workshops, a blog, a free video series, and much more. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

02 May 2023

44 MINS

44:10

02 May 2023

#282

Words That Get in Our Way

Janet frequently advises us not to focus on trying to say the "right" words when we’re engaging with our kids. Why? Because regardless of the words we’re using, our children usually sense what we are feeling and how we are perceiving them moment to moment. So, generally, memorized scripts or phrases aren’t going to be as important as our true feelings and intentions. However, in this episode, Janet switches gears to describe 3 situations where our words actually do matter. In these instances, word choices can affect our perceptions of our children, hinder our ability to connect with them, and impede other goals we have as parents. None of us are perfect, of course, nor would our kids wish us to be, but awareness of the impact of our words can make our lives easier. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

25 Apr 2023

16 MINS

16:55

25 Apr 2023

#281

It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings

Allowing our children to vent their feelings, encouraging and even welcoming them however they are expressed (and not taking it personally!), it is not easy at first. It is a practice that requires taking our head and then our heart into a place where we can calm ourselves enough to genuinely listen, and accept with compassion rather than judgment. In this episode, Janet shares several notes from parents who describe how making the effort to practice this perspective has paid off in major breakthroughs in their relationships with their children. One parent writes: “I have tears in my eyes as I write this because I just didn’t know that this type of connection with anyone, let alone the most important person in my world, was even possible.” Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://www.amazon.com/s?crid=3IY74QEP62F4T&k=no+bad+kids+toddler+discipline+without+shame&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_6_6&sprefix=no+bad%2Caps%2C241) and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/* Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/Advertising Inquiries: <a href='https://redcircle.com/brands'>https://redcircle.com/brands</a>Privacy & Opt-Out: <a href='https://redcircle.com/privacy'>https://redcircle.com/privacy</a> ... Read more

18 Apr 2023

23 MINS

23:18

18 Apr 2023

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#303

Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help

#302

Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right

#301

Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud...

#300

How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One

#299

Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney

#298

Teaching Kids About Personal Space

#297

Fears Around Starting School

#296

Parent Traps

#295

Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)

#294

What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)

#293

Our Child Won't Listen

#292

When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)

#291

How To Help a Frustrated Child

#290

Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)

#289

Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)

#288

Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't

#287

Raising Emotional Intelligence and Resilience for a Meaningful Life (with Susan David)

#286

What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say

#285

It's Not Too Late

#284

The Science of Intimacy With Our Kids (With Dr. Taniesha Burke)

#283

Getting Real With How We Feel (With Elisabeth Corey)

#282

Words That Get in Our Way

#281

It Works! Parents Report Powerful Benefits From Allowing Kids' Feelings