…

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

…

JLML Press

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website ( [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) ) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) and [JanetLansbury] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) . Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and free at Audible with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise. Copyright JLML Press (2024) All Rights Reserved

#358

"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)

In this encore episode, early childhood education luminary Rae Pica joins Janet to share her expertise about how children really learn and to debunk some common parenting myths that can impede a child’s natural development. Rae has dedicated herself to the mission of developing and educating the whole child. She is the author of 20 books, a popular keynote speaker, and throughout her decades-long career has consulted with numerous diverse public and private groups as well as schools and health departments throughout the U.S. Rae's website, contact information, and parenting resources are at https://www.raepica.com, and where you can sign up for her new program for parents "The Truth About Children". Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

14 hrs Ago

29 MINS

29:16

14 hrs Ago

#357

Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)

The US Surgeon General warns that parents today are feeling increasingly stressed and burnt out. Obviously, this is unhealthy for us and for our children. Several societal factors are thought to contribute to this issue. The good news is that one of them is in our power to control: Intensive Parenting. Sociologists describe intensive parenting (in a recent “New York Times” article) as "painstakingly and methodically cultivating children's talents, academics and futures through everyday interactions and activities." They note that parents are feeling more obligated to provide extracurricular activities for their kids than they did a decade ago and spend more time stimulating and actively playing with them. The jury's out as to whether these kids are benefiting from their parents' efforts, but they are undoubtedly feeling their parents' stress. Janet's view is that intensive parenting teaches kids they need intensive help. She believes that the key to being involved in the most positive manner in kids' lives is to better understand our role—where they need us to be leaders and when they need us to let go and trust them. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

15 Oct 2024

31 MINS

31:53

15 Oct 2024

#356

Is Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise?

A 7-year-old has been behaving rudely toward his parents by giving them "attitude" and resisting when they give him directions. He says rebellious things, reacts strongly to minor disappointments, and even gets physically aggressive. The mom writes: "I feel at a loss for how to correct this perceived defiance...We're at a new low for us. It's starting to feel like he's too old to be acting out this way." Janet offers her perspective and suggestions in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

08 Oct 2024

29 MINS

29:50

08 Oct 2024

#355

What's Too Strict? What's Not Strict Enough?

Parenting is a tough job and, if you're like many of us, navigating effective discipline is the most challenging part of it. We need clarity! For this reason, many have appreciated Janet's recent episode: "Strict is Loving". You've also had questions—lots of questions—in regard to walking (what can seem to be) the fine line between too strict and too permissive. Janet addresses many of your questions in this episode, offering her perspective on issues with kids and peers, transitions, behavior during tantrums, intervening with pets, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

01 Oct 2024

31 MINS

31:16

01 Oct 2024

#354

Character Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn

Progress not perfection… Be thankful for what you have…It's okay not to win… Embracedifferences... Follow your own path... It's okay to cry... We all have life lessons that we hope to instill in our kids. Many of you shared yours with Janet on Facebook recently. What are the most effective ways to teach these lessons? As with all aspects of parenting, the answers may not be as clear and simple as we expect.Janet offers her perspective and advice in this episode. Janet's Facebook discussion on life lessons is here: [https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy] (https://tinyurl.com/46j2bkjy) Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

24 Sep 2024

29 MINS

29:06

24 Sep 2024

#353

Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)

Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us the way in this episode. You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: [BeatingTrauma.com] (http://www.BeatingTrauma.com) . Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

17 Sep 2024

45 MINS

45:14

17 Sep 2024

#352

Strict Is Loving

Janet's "all feelings allowed" approach to parenting is sometimes misconstrued as permissive, passive, lax on boundaries. But as Janet clarifies in this episode, the exact opposite is true! She describes how acquiescing to our kids' whims and demands, giving them multiple chances to comply with our directions, or making it our job to console them when our rules disappoint can be a set-up for failure for our kids and us. She explains how respectful parenting is actually quite strict, and why, in her view, strict is much kinder and more loving than the alternative, builds better relationships, and encourages lifelong emotional resiliency in our kids. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

10 Sep 2024

32 MINS

32:35

10 Sep 2024

#351

Am I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation)

A mom fears that her gentle, respectful approach to her toddler's feelings and behaviors is too permissive and isn't teaching her to treat others with kindness and respect.She says she’s been following Janet’s approach from the beginning, but when her daughter kicks and screams and generally melts down, she can't help but question if simply acting calm and acknowledging her feelings is the right attitude. "... This isn't getting better, it's getting worse, and I feel like maybe I'm going down the wrong path or there's something I'm doing wrong."Janet encourages this parent to be more assertive with her own personal boundaries and clarifies what she means when she recommends accepting and acknowledging feelings. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

03 Sep 2024

46 MINS

46:23

03 Sep 2024

#350

Everything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation)

Janet consults with a single mom who is alarmed by her toddler's strong reactions and aggressive behavior.She seems easily and almost constantly upset—hits, pushes, and bites her mother and brother—and won't be consoled. "When she is crying for a little while because of me taking something away, I console her and say, 'I know you didn't want me to take that away. I'm so sorry I had to, it was not safe.' I will pick her up and rub her back and she will slap me." Naturally, this mom wonders wheresuch intense, angry reactions from her daughter could be coming from and how to effectively respond. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

27 Aug 2024

43 MINS

43:58

27 Aug 2024

#349

3 Ways to Calm Back-to-School Jitters

Starting a new school, going back to school, or starting daycare is one of the most challenging transitions for our kids —and us—at this early stage of their lives. It means a new routine, new caregivers and friends, and many unknowns. It’s normal for both parent and child to feel some trepidation, and it’s rare that our child will accept all the changes willingly or gracefully. Usually, we can expect some strong expression of feeling in the home either before, during, or after the transition—short fuses, prickliness, whining, crying, tantrums—and these feelings may linger for many months. For our part, as parents, it’s difficult not to feel guilty and question our decisions when our child seems so unsettled. Janet has three suggestions that can make this important time in our lives easier for all of us. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

20 Aug 2024

20 MINS

20:46

20 Aug 2024

#348

Baffled by "Bad" Behavior? Do This First

When our kids' behavior seems negative or inappropriate, we know we should disallow it. But what if the behavior continues?Or goes from bad to worse? What is our child needing from us or telling us that we're missing? There's often a simple, yet easy to overlook, answer.In this episode, Janet responds to notes from parents who have become alarmed by their kids' recent behavior. One child seems hooked on playing that he's a "bad guy" and becomes physically aggressive. Another tells his parents he wants to hurt them. A third is sneaking food and even medicine. These parents are unerringly patient and empathetic, but nothing seems to work.One parent writes: “It's been getting more intense over the past several months, and I really want it to stop, but I don't know how. Am I doing something wrong?” Janet has an idea for what they may be missing, and she explains how it applies in each of these families' situation. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

13 Aug 2024

24 MINS

24:23

13 Aug 2024

#347

Help Kids Realize Their Potential With the Power of Less (With Kim John Payne)

When we're concerned about our kids' behavior, their stress and difficult moods, a lack of motivation, or an overall sense that we're not in harmony with them — the solution almost certainly comes down to "less." In this episode, Janet is joined by Kim John Payne, M.ED., renowned family consultant, lecturer, and author of the seminal parenting guide “Simplicity Parenting:Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids.” The book has been aptly described as “a manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood,”and there is much of Kim’s science-backed approach which supports and complements Janet’s. In their view, our fast-paced, competitive culture (“too much, too soon”) takes the joy out of parenting and can overwhelm our children, causing anxiety, insecurity, and many common behavioral problems. Kim and Janet discuss how the power of less can create the family life we always imagined and allow children to thrive. Kim John Payne's resources are at: [SimplicityParenting.com/] (http://SimplicityParenting.com/) Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

06 Aug 2024

42 MINS

42:10

06 Aug 2024

#346

The Scoop on Independent Play (And Myths That Get in the Way)

Children are innately driven to play, and the benefits are enormous. They're also driven to seekour attention and connection, so how can we encourage our kids' play without becoming their constant playmate? In this episode Janet dispels seven common misunderstandings that make the lifelong habit (and gift) of self-directed play much more challenging to foster. She suggests helpful alternatives that not only encourage play, but also bolster self-esteem and strengthen parent-child bonds. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

30 Jul 2024

25 MINS

25:25

30 Jul 2024

#345

Surviving a Storm of Emotions

Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: “Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruined because you said no to a cookie at 7:00 AM.” Another mom says her 4-year-old has started spitting, biting, and hitting in pre-school. He’s recently acquired a baby brother, which explains a lot, but she says, “it would be easier if he was screaming and crying and having a meltdown. I can handle that, but when it comes out in a way that hurts others, I struggle.” Janet has several suggestions for these parents both in the way they are responding to their kids and in their perceptions of their respective storms. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

23 Jul 2024

28 MINS

28:26

23 Jul 2024

#344

Potty Learning: What Kids Need From Us

Potty training is always an adventure, and it can be a confusing, sometimes frustrating experience. There are countless books on the subject, and there's plenty of advice from both experts and well-meaning friends and family. Since every child’s process is unique to them and depends on so many internal and external influences, it’s difficult to find a one-size-fits-all approach. In this episode, Janet responds to several questions from parents whose kids are having difficulties using the toilet. The parents describe pitfalls they're encountering and various strategies they’ve tried, but to no avail. Janet offersher pov on the subject and explains how her approach can accomplish more than basic potty learning – it can also relieve the associated pressures both parent and child experience, with the bonus of giving the child a sense of autonomy, accomplishment, and confidence. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

16 Jul 2024

36 MINS

36:44

16 Jul 2024

#343

Angry Flare-Ups - And He’s Only One Year Old (A Parent Consultation)

A parent consults with Janet about her one-year-old who screams, cries, "loses itanytime he’s picked up and moved to do something else or is told he can’t go somewhere.” She's concerned that it's too early for this type of behavior, wonders how to respond and if she’s doing something wrong. Janet shares her perspective and offers specific advice for handling his resistance to diaper changes, separation, and more. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

09 Jul 2024

35 MINS

35:43

09 Jul 2024

#342

Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)

In this encore episode Janet's guest is psychologist, writer, researcher, and Harvard lecturer Susan Linn. For decades, Susan has been a passionate advocate for our children and a steadfast fighter against the infiltration of Big Business and Big Tech into kids' lives (and parents' pocketbooks). In an eye-opening discussion, Susan describes how digital culture is designed to indoctrinate children into consumerism and brand loyalty, and how it's geared to create dependencies on games and devices for stimulation and soothing. She explains how games and devices teach values that are often diametrically opposed to our own, how they can affect learning by shrinking our children’s world and even interfere with parent-child relationships. Ultimately, Susan and Janet focus on the positive actions we can take to lessen the impact of manipulative marketers while realistically acknowledging the role of digitized culture in all of our lives. More to learn in this episode: ---How to choose the most beneficial toys and programs for our kids ---How advertisers capture children's attention and encourage them to nag us for more, more, more ---Why combatting commercialized culture isn't only a family issue, but a societal one ---What Alexa offers to "bored" children ---Computer games are less "active" for kids than we might believe For more on Susan, her work, and her books, visit: www.https://www.consumingkids.com/ Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) and [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.janetlansbury.com/) . See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

02 Jul 2024

37 MINS

37:31

02 Jul 2024

#341

Family Games Your Kids Will Love

Does your family have any extra downtime this summer? This may be the perfect time to introduce your kids to some simple, giggle-inducing, creative games to play anytime and almost anywhere. I have ideas for you! These are games my kids begged me to play over and over again that would never fail to crack me up too, and even became family lore. Some of these you've definitely heard of, others my kids and I invented. None are about winning, losing, screens, or making any sort of product, just learning (without realizing it) and lots of FUN. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

25 Jun 2024

22 MINS

22:59

25 Jun 2024

Podurama

Home

Trending

Personal

Your Podcasts

New Episodes

My Files

Favourite Episodes

Tags (Folders)

Recently Played

Bookmarks

Followed Playlists

#358

"Earlier Is Better" And Other Child Development Myths (with Rae Pica)

#357

Kids Don't Need Intensive Parenting (and Neither do We!)

#356

Is Disrespect a Tantrum in Disguise?

#355

What's Too Strict? What's Not Strict Enough?

#354

Character Building Lessons You Want Your Kids to Learn

#353

Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)

#352

Strict Is Loving

#351

Am I Ruining My Child With Respectful Parenting? (A Parent Consultation)

#350

Everything Upsets My Spirited Toddler (A Parent Consultation)

#349

3 Ways to Calm Back-to-School Jitters

#348

Baffled by "Bad" Behavior? Do This First

#347

Help Kids Realize Their Potential With the Power of Less (With Kim John Payne)

#346

The Scoop on Independent Play (And Myths That Get in the Way)

#345

Surviving a Storm of Emotions

#344

Potty Learning: What Kids Need From Us

#343

Angry Flare-Ups - And He’s Only One Year Old (A Parent Consultation)

#342

Raising Creative, Critical Thinkers in a Commercialized World (with Susan Linn)

#341

Family Games Your Kids Will Love