Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled podcast

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website ( [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) ) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) and [JanetLansbury] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) . Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise. Copyright JLML Press (2024) All Rights Reserved

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics. Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website ( [JanetLansbury.com] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) ) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at [NoBadKidsCourse] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) and [JanetLansbury] (http://www.JanetLansbury.com) . Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more. Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise. Copyright JLML Press (2024) All Rights Reserved

 

#324

We Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids

Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

20 Feb 2024

20 MINS

20:35

20 Feb 2024


#323

Toddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry)

Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultantwho for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her experienced perspective, warm support, and actionable advice. “Sleep is not a problem to be fixed,” she believes. “It is a skill to be learned.” More about Eileen and her resources at: [CompassionateSleepSolutions.com] (http://www.Compassionatesleepsolutions.com) , or visit her on Facebook at: [Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutions] (http://www.Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutions) Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

13 Feb 2024

44 MINS

44:09

13 Feb 2024


#322

Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve

Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need tolearn todeal with loss capablyand, most important of all, know loss is survivable. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.NoBadKidsCourse.com) . Her best-selling books"No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame"and"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

06 Feb 2024

30 MINS

30:41

06 Feb 2024


#321

Coping with Your Child's Possessiveness

"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share. In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect his territory and possessions from his baby brother. While he and his wife try to maintain an understanding, respectful approach to the behavior by acknowledging his feelings and his space, they're perplexed by their son's demands which seem unreasonable and often nonsensical. Worse, he can act aggressively toward his sibling, which is alarming. Janet offers specific advice and verbal examples for handling “mine” and other controlling behavior between siblings and peers. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling booksNo Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without ShameandElevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parentingare available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

30 Jan 2024

24 MINS

24:54

30 Jan 2024


#320

How an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success"

A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.”After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironically, “That life was easy. Being a mom is hard.” Recently, however, she remembered “Unruffled” and the experience she had with her firstborn. She started devouring episodes and says that it all started coming back to her. Her letter describes how she adopted a new perspective and applied Janet’s methods and advice immediately—with miraculous results. “It has been an amazing shift in the household ever since I have adopted this approach… so many more hugs and them telling me they love me.” Janet uses this parent’s hopeful letter to illustrate how small alterations to our interactions, and especially our perspective, can transform our relationship with our kids and bring the joy we deserve to the parenting experience. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling booksNo Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without ShameandElevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parentingare available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

23 Jan 2024

26 MINS

26:30

23 Jan 2024


#319

Every Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)

Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiateactivities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber proté​gé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but forourmental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way. More from and about Hari on her website [HarisRIEStudio.com] (http://www.HarisRIEStudio.com) , and her Instagram page [HarisRIEStudio] (https://www.instagram.com/harisriestudio/) . Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling booksNo Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without ShameandElevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parentingare available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

16 Jan 2024

45 MINS

45:59

16 Jan 2024


#318

Resisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying

Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled. In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don't tend to be sustainable). She offers examples through two letters. One parent, who resorts to eventually picking up her toddlers when they resist, shares: "My 3-year-old is getting much heavier, stronger, and faster, so the moments of resistance are becoming more difficult to overcome without struggle, and I don't know what I will do in a year or two when he becomes even faster and stronger." Another parent asks:"Is this level of dilly-dallying normal? If so, how should we deal with that? If the gentle ways don't work, threats don't work (or even make things worse in the long run), what else can we do?" Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com) . Her best-selling booksNo Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without ShameandElevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parentingare available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

09 Jan 2024

35 MINS

35:44

09 Jan 2024


#317

A Secret to Helping Our Kids Achieve (Advice for the New Year)

As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don't seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren't mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in doing things that we feel certain they're capable of, even when we've gently encouraged them. Naturally, this confuses us. We wonder what we can do to help. In this premiere episode for 2024, Janet offersa counterintuitive suggestion for what we might be missing and how our good intentions can backfire. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”and"Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

02 Jan 2024

23 MINS

23:37

02 Jan 2024


#316

My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)

In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

26 Dec 2023

30 MINS

30:32

26 Dec 2023


#315

7 Daily Reminders for Parents (Encore)

Inspired by a listener's request and just in time to make a new start in the New Year, Unruffledrevisits Janet's list of daily reminders for helping parents face the challenges of their day with more clarity, calm, and confidence. For a deep and complete understanding of ALL these points and much, much more, check out Janet's No Bad Kids Course—an awesome gift for the holidays. Janet's bestselling booksNo Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care make such helpful, thoughtful stocking stuffers! Happy Holidays! See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

19 Dec 2023

28 MINS

28:25

19 Dec 2023


#314

Making Magical Holiday Memories

No matter how we spend our holidays, we all hope to make the most of them. In this first-ever holiday episode of Unruffled, Janet offers ideas for encouraging even our youngest children to feel a part of the festivities, and perhaps be the ones to create family traditions. Janet's suggestions include thoughts on gift giving, how to frame the story of Santa Claus without "lying," and what we can do to help our little ones manage the changes in routine and overstimulation. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

12 Dec 2023

17 MINS

17:44

12 Dec 2023


#313

Angry Outbursts, Screaming, and Hurtful Words

Two discouraged, desperate families write to Janet for help with 4.5-year-olds who seem perpetually angry. These children are lashing out verbally, screaming and shouting at their parents and siblings, and seem particularly explosive at the end of the day. One parent writes that her child "seems like she is very intentionally trying to be hurtful," and adds, "It doesn't seem like she should be able to get away with treating us and her sister this way." The second family writes that when picking their daughter up from school "and the tiniest thing is not right, the screaming and shouting begins. Everything is catastrophic." Janet recommends specific adjustments these parents can make in the way they are perceiving their children's behaviors that she believes will bring relief.  Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

05 Dec 2023

44 MINS

44:51

05 Dec 2023


#312

My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else

While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom'sconstant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries."She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

28 Nov 2023

25 MINS

25:25

28 Nov 2023


#311

Stop Making Mealtime a Challenge

A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guidelines that not only encourage healthy eating but eliminate stress for us and our kids. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

21 Nov 2023

30 MINS

30:48

21 Nov 2023


#310

When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin)

We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator,and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

14 Nov 2023

39 MINS

39:19

14 Nov 2023


#309

Our Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show

A parent emails Janet with the subject line:Help! Strong Willed Child.She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider thewhy—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring clarity and help these parents shift the dynamic with their child in a positive direction. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

07 Nov 2023

34 MINS

34:26

07 Nov 2023


#308

Consequences vs Threats vs Punishments

From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals.  Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

31 Oct 2023

29 MINS

29:04

31 Oct 2023


#307

Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times

Janet shares words of support. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

24 Oct 2023

14 MINS

14:00

24 Oct 2023


#306

When Our Kids Are Scared

How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

17 Oct 2023

30 MINS

30:58

17 Oct 2023


#305

Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive

Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

10 Oct 2023

27 MINS

27:42

10 Oct 2023


#304

How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes

Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at:  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

03 Oct 2023

28 MINS

28:21

03 Oct 2023


#303

Struggles with Independent Play

Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then suddenly announces she's "done!" and cries until the parent removes her from the play area. She's also begun demanding to be “done” with car rides and walks in the stroller. Another parent shares that her 8-month-old, who previously reveled in his play time and entertained himself for long periods, has lately become angry whenever there's a gate between them, even when she's doing chores right next to him on the other side.Janet shares insights for encouraging self-directed play and suggests ways these parents might help their kids get over their respective humps. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, andfreeat Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

26 Sep 2023

36 MINS

36:54

26 Sep 2023


#302

Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help

Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors.A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7) and ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1) are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. Please support our sponsors. See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

19 Sep 2023

36 MINS

36:37

19 Sep 2023


#301

Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right

A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily.  Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at  [NoBadKidsCourse.com] (http://www.nobadkidscourse.com/) . Her best-selling books  [“No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame”] (https://amzn.to/44hmBg7)  and  ["Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting"] (https://amzn.to/46lyJP1)  are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible ( [https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ] (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) ) with a trial subscription. ---Please support our sponsors. Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com See Privacy Policy at [https://art19.com/privacy] (https://art19.com/privacy) and California Privacy Notice at [https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info] (https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info) . ... Read more

12 Sep 2023

25 MINS

25:55

12 Sep 2023