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The Art of Manliness

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The Art of Manliness

The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man's life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity. Engaging and edifying interviews with some of the world's most interesting doers and thinkers drop the fluff and filler to glean guests' very best, potentially life-changing, insights.

#959

For a Better Work Out, Think Like a Kid

According to some estimates, only 5% of people in the West get the recommended amount of daily physical activity. Is the solution getting a fitness tracker, developing more discipline, or buying a piece of cardio equipment for your basement? My guest would say none of the above, and would have you think about kids playing at recess instead. Darryl Edwards is the founder of the [Primal Play Method] (https://www.primalplay.com/) . Today on the show, we discuss the epidemic of sedentariness which besets both adults and children and why technology and willpower isn’t the cure for it. Darryl then explains why a better solution to getting more movement and physical activity in our lives is rediscovering the intrinsically motivating pleasure of play. He offers suggestions on how to do that, including compiling a play history for your life, embracing “primal movements” that will get you moving like an animal and a child, and getting over the fear of looking goofy while doing so. We discuss the joys and health benefits of exploring your capabilities and environment and how to incorporate more movement into your busy adult life by making even regular activities more playful. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- ---Darryl’s books: ------ [Animal Moves: How to Move Like an Animal to Get You Leaner, Fitter, Stronger and Healthier for Life] (https://amzn.to/3PcoSDp) ------ [My First Animal Moves: A Children’s Book to Encourage Kids and Their Parents to Move More, Sit Less and Decrease Screen Time] (https://www.amazon.com/First-Animal-Moves-Childrens-Encourage/dp/0993329888/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=leyN1&content-id=amzn1.sym.579192ca-1482-4409-abe7-9e14f17ac827&pf_rd_p=579192ca-1482-4409-abe7-9e14f17ac827&pf_rd_r=136-3887125-4860856&pd_rd_wg=KdJDL&pd_rd_r=e6738fe8-5620-4d78-ad7d-0c305a084873&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk) --- [AoM Article: Get Fit Like a Wild Man — A Primer on MovNat] (https://mail.google.com/mail/u/1/Get%20Fit%20Like%20a%20Wild%20Man:%20A%20Primer%20on%20MovNat) --- [AoM Article: The 10 Physical Skills Every Man Should Master] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/10-physical-skills-every-man-master/) --- [AoM Article: The Importance of Having a Physical Identity] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/the-importance-of-having-a-physical-identity/) --- [AoM Article: 30 Days to a Better Man Day 24 — Play!] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-24-play/) --- [AoM Podcast #508: Break Out of Your Cage and Stop Being a Human Zoo Animal] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/podcast-508-break-out-of-your-cage-and-stop-being-a-human-zoo-animal/) --- [AoM Podcast #245: The Workout the World Forgot] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/podcast-245-workout-world-forgot/) --- [AoM Podcast #749: Let the Children Play!] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/fatherhood/podcast-749-let-the-children-play/) Connect With Darryl Edwards --------------------------- --- [Primal Play website] (https://www.primalplay.com/) --- [Darryl on FB] (https://www.facebook.com/fitnessexplorer?locale=en_GB) --- [Darryl on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/fitnessexplorer/) ... Read more

20 Sep 2023

49 MINS

49:41

20 Sep 2023

#958

Beyond Lazy Learning — The Keys to Gaining and Retaining Knowledge

Ever wondered why, after hours of reading and highlighting, you still feel unprepared for that big test? Or why, shortly after a work training, you can’t remember much of what was said and how to apply it? Or why you have trouble comprehending a difficult book? Whether you’re a student studying for exams, an employee trying to learn the ropes at a new job, or someone who’s into personal study, learning effectively is hugely important in increasing your capacity and knowledge. Unfortunately, most of what people do to learn simply doesn’t work. Here to unlock the superior, research-backed strategies that will help you harness the potential of your brain is Daniel Willingham, a professor of psychology and the author of [Outsmart Your Brain] (https://amzn.to/3PInU3h) . Today on the show, Daniel explains why the default way that our brains want to learn doesn’t work, and how to approach learning by both reading and listening more effectively. We discuss how to get more out of your reading, including whether you should highlight, whether speed reading is effective, the optimal method for taking notes during a lecture, the best way to cement things into memory, and much more. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Article: How and Why to Become a Lifelong Learner] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/how-and-why-to-become-a-lifelong-learner/) --- [AoM Article: How to Read a Book] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/how-to-read-a-book/) --- [AoM Article: How to Read Long and Difficult Books] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/how-to-read-long-and-difficult-books/) --- [AoM Podcast #677: The Value of Learning New Skills in Adulthood] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/manly-know-how/how-to-learn-new-skills/) --- [AoM Article: Ace Your Exams — Study Tactics of the Successful Gentleman Scholar] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/ace-your-exams-study-tactics-of-the-successful-gentleman-scholar/) --- [AoM Article: Write This Down: Note-Taking Strategies for Academic Success] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/write-this-down-note-taking-strategies-for-academic-success/) Connect With Daniel Willingham ------------------------------- --- [Daniel’s website] (http://www.danielwillingham.com/) --- [Daniel on X] (https://twitter.com/DTWillingham) --- [Daniel on TikTok] (https://www.tiktok.com/discover/Dr-daniel-willingham) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/09/59366180.jpg) ... Read more

18 Sep 2023

47 MINS

47:39

18 Sep 2023

#957

The 5 Shifts of Manhood

In the Apostle Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he wrote, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” What does putting away the ways of childhood and stepping into manhood look like? My guest says it requires making five key shifts in mindset and perspective. His name is Jon Tyson, and he’s a pastor and the creator of the Primal Path, a rite of passage geared toward helping boys become men. Today on the show, Jon and I unpack the five shifts of manhood and how parents and mentors can help young men make them and move from immaturity to maturity. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Jon’s previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #810 — How to Turn a Boy Into a Man] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/fatherhood/how-to-turn-a-boy-into-a-man/) --- [The Intentional Father: A Practical Guide to Raise Sons of Courage and Character by Jon Tyson] (https://amzn.to/469qkxj) --- [AoM Article: What Is Manliness?] (http://artofmanliness.com/character/advice/what-is-manliness/) --- [Adam’s Return: The Five Promises of Male Spirituality by Richard Rohr] (https://amzn.to/3Lfa99m) --- [AoM Podcast #708: Overcome the Comfort Crisis] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/health/podcast-708-overcoming-the-comfort-crisis/) --- [Radical Candor by Kim Scott] (https://amzn.to/3r8QqS1) --- [“The Courage to Face Ingratitude” by William George Jordan ] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/manvotional-the-courage-to-face-ingratitude/) --- [“This Is Water” by David Foster Wallace] (https://fs.blog/david-foster-wallace-this-is-water/) --- [The 33 Marks of Maturity] (https://www.amazon.com/33-Marks-Maturity-Brett-McKay-ebook/dp/B07YVFLJBJ) Connect With Jon Tyson ---------------------- --- [Primal Path] (https://www.primalpath.co/) --- [Forming Men] (https://www.formingmen.com/) --- [Jon on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/jontyson/?hl=en) ... Read more

13 Sep 2023

1 HR 04 MINS

1:04:57

13 Sep 2023

#956

When the Game Was War — Lessons From the Greatest NBA Season of All Time

While there may be some heated rivalries in today's NBA, the ferocity of competition doesn't compare to the hard-hitting contests that took place during the 1987-1988 season, when four rising and falling dynasties — the Celtics, Lakers, Pistons, and Bulls — battled it out for supremacy. Here to illuminate that epic era in basketball and share what can be learned from it is Rich Cohen, author of [When the Game Was War: The NBA's Greatest Season] (https://amzn.to/3Pz2p4T) . Today on the show, Rich makes a case for why there's never be a season before or since like the one that played out in '87 and '88, and he profiles the players — Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Isiah Thomas, and Michael Jordan — who dominated that season and changed the game. Along the way, we talk about the life lessons that can be taken from these players and their teams, including the rules legendary coach Phil Jackson gave the Bulls, which were inspired by the jazz musician Thelonious Monk. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Rich's last appearance on the AoM podcast:Episode #817 — Life Lessons From the World’s Greatest Negotiator] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/herb-cohen-podcast/) --- [The Last Dance on Netflix] (https://www.netflix.com/title/80203144) --- [Winning Time on HBO] (https://www.hbo.com/winning-time-the-rise-of-the-lakers-dynasty) --- [AoM Article: Competition — The Fuel for Greatness] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/competition-the-fuel-for-greatness/) --- [Sunday Firesides: Your Worst Competitor Is You] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-your-worst-competitor-is-you/) --- [AoM Podcast #790: Kierkegaard on the Present (Passionless) Age] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/kierkegaard-on-the-present-age-podcast/) --- ["The Moods of Ernest Hemingway" by Lillian Ross] (https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1950/05/13/how-do-you-like-it-now-gentlemen) Connect With Rich Cohen ----------------------- --- [Rich's website] (https://www.authorrichcohen.com/) --- [Rich on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/richcohen2003) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/09/91ArBSH8XL.jpg) ... Read more

11 Sep 2023

57 MINS

57:59

11 Sep 2023

#955

How to Develop Rugged Flexibility

Change is a constant. Changes big and small are always happening in our lives, while the world also changes around us. We can either resist these changes as unmooring threats to our sense of self, or embrace them as chances to get better and stronger. The key to taking that second approach, my guest says, is developing rugged flexibility. His name is Brad Stulberg, and he's the author of [Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You] (https://amzn.to/3Ps3MCg) . Today on the show, Brad unpacks why allostasis is a better model for dealing with disruption than homeostasis, and how healthy change moves in a cycle of order, disorder, and reorder. We then discuss ways to move through this cycle with rugged flexibility — an approach to life that keeps some things solid and stable, while letting others change and flow. We talk about the importance of adopting a being versus having orientation, managing your expectations, diversifying your identity, and more. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Brad's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: #491: Everything You Know About Passion is Wrong] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-491-everything-you-know-about-passion-is-wrong/) --- ["The Case for a Tragic Optimism" by Viktor Frankl] (https://www.coursehero.com/file/91583972/Viktor-Frankl-The-Case-for-a-Tragic-Optimismpdf/) --- [New Dad Survival Guide: The Mindset] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/fatherhood/new-dad-survival-guide-the-mindset/) --- [AoM Podcast #527: Male Spirituality and the Journey to the Second Half of Life With Richard Rohr] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/male-spirituality-richard-rohr/) --- [AoM Article: How Labeling Your Emotions Can Help You Take Control] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/labeling-emotions-control/) --- [AoM Podcast #690: The Life Philosophy of Bruce Lee] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/bruce-lee-philosohy/) --- [Sunday Firesides: Build Your Life Upon Multiple Pillars of Support] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-build-your-life-upon-multiple-pillars-of-support/) --- [Sunday Firesides: Feelings Follow Action] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-feelings-follow-action/) Connect With Brad Stulberg -------------------------- --- [Brad's website] (https://www.bradstulberg.com/) --- [Brad on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/bradstulberg/?hl=en) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/09/71TEHI9cnLL.jpg) ... Read more

06 Sep 2023

53 MINS

53:06

06 Sep 2023

#954

Take Back the Weekend

Note: This is a rebroadcast. Do you ever get to feeling kind of down, dejected, and anxious come Sunday evening? People refer to this phenomenon as the “Sunday Night Blues,” and it’s a common experience. You may have chalked it up to rueing the fact that your fun and restful weekend is over, and that you have yet another workweek ahead. But my guest would say that your Sunday night sadness may also be rooted in the feeling of regret — the regret that you didn’t put your weekend to good use, that it wasn’t restful and fun, and that it was instead busy, draining, and, once again, a big letdown. Her name is Katrina Onstad, and she’s the author of [The Weekend Effect] (https://amzn.to/3nOdorY) . Today Katrina shares how the idea of the weekend, of having two back-to-back days off from work, came about, and how it’s been challenged and subsequently eroded in the modern day. We then talk about how to take back your weekends, so that your invaluable Saturdays and Sundays feel more the way they did when you were a kid — filled with a sense of possibility. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Saint Monday] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Monday) --- [Haymarket square affair] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haymarket_affair) --- [AoM Podcast #602: The Case for Being Unproductive] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-602-the-case-for-being-unproductive/) --- [AoM Podcast #450: How to Make Time for What Really Matters] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-450-how-to-make-time-for-what-really-matters-every-day/) --- [AoM Podcast #748: Time Management for Mortals] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/time-management-for-mortals/) --- [AoM Podcast #743: How to Get Time, Priorities, and Energy Working in Your Favor] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/career/podcast-743-how-to-get-time-priorities-and-energy-working-in-your-favor/) --- [AoM Article: How to Better Manage Your Life Admin] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/how-to-better-manage-your-life-admin/) --- [AoM Article: The Rise of Spectatoritis] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/viewers-vs-doers-the-rise-of-spectatoritis/) --- [AoM Article: The Lost Art of Cheap Recreation] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/leisure/the-lost-art-of-cheap-recreation/) Connect With Katrina Onstad --------------------------- --- [Katrina’s Website] (https://katrinaonstad.com/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2021/11/the-weekend-effect-1.jpeg) ... Read more

04 Sep 2023

43 MINS

43:59

04 Sep 2023

#953

Leadership Is Overrated

When an organization wants to get more productive and better reach its goals, it typically looks to retool its leadership, trying to find lone figures who can apply more effective top-down control. But my guest says there’s a much more effective strategy for getting things done: creating and empowering teams of self-starters. Kyle Buckett is a retired Navy SEAL, an executive consultant, and the co-author of [Leadership Is Overrated: How the Navy SEALs (and Successful Businesses) Create Self-Leading Teams That Win] (https://amzn.to/44yUecZ) . Today on the show, Kyle first unpacks the problems with the conventional model of leadership. He then explains what the self-led team-oriented model looks like and some of the ways to create effective self-led teams, including “killing the leader” and establishing a ritual-laden culture. We also talk about the role a leader can still play in an organization. Along the way, Kyle shares stories both from history and his experience as a SEAL that illustrate why self-led teams are so effective at getting things done. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Belgian Antarctic Expedition] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belgian_Antarctic_Expedition) --- [AoM Article: What the Race to the South Pole Can Teach You About How to Achieve Your Goals] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/what-the-race-to-the-south-pole-can-teach-you-about-how-to-achieve-your-goals/) --- [AoM Podcast #695: Sisu, the Finnish Art of Strength] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-695-sisu-the-finnish-art-of-strength/) --- [AoM Article: Got Sisu? Essential Guerrilla Tactics from the Finnish Winter War] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/sisu-finnish-winter-war/) Connect With Kyle Buckett ------------------------- --- [Culture Force/Leadership Is Overrated Website] (https://www.cultureforce.team/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/71U18ekSOpL.jpg) ... Read more

30 Aug 2023

44 MINS

44:20

30 Aug 2023

#952

For Whom The Bell Tolls

Ernest Hemingway's classic novel, [ For Whom the Bell Tolls] (https://amzn.to/3KYDgOq) , is often designated as one of the greatest books about war ever written and has appeared on the Marine Corps recommended reading list. Today on the show, I unpack For Whom the Bell Tolls with Hemingway scholar Mark Cirino. We discuss the background of the novel, its themes, and the literary techniques Hemingway employed in writing it. We end our conversation with our picks for the "one true sentence" in the book. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Mark's last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #786 — The Writing Life of Ernest Hemingway] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/ernest-hemingway-cirino-podcast/) --- [AoM Podcast #219: The Real Life Story of Hemingway and The Sun Also Rises] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/podcast-219-the-real-life-story-of-hemingway-and-the-sun-also-rises/) --- [Ernest Hemingway: Thought in Action by Mark Cirino] (https://uwpress.wisc.edu/books/4962.htm) --- [One True Sentence: Writers & Readers on Hemingway’s Art edited by Michael Von Cannon and Mark Cirino] (https://amzn.to/3qIh4B3) --- [AoM Podcast #871: Jane Austen for Dudes] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/reading/podcast-871-jane-austen-for-dudes/) --- [Mark Salter's appearance on the One True Podcast] (https://www.hemingwaysociety.org/node/928) --- [“Big Two-Hearted River” by Ernest Hemingway] (http://xroads.virginia.edu/~DRBR/hem_river.html) Connect With Mark Cirino ------------------------ --- [One True Podcast] (https://onetruepod.com/) --- [One True Podcast on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/1truepod) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/61bx8-O6JSL.jpg) ... Read more

28 Aug 2023

51 MINS

51:45

28 Aug 2023

#951

How to Use the Principles of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to Overcome Obstacles in Business and Life

In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, there are certain principles like timing, leverage, and positioning that practitioners must master to successfully overcome an opponent. My guest has found that these same principles that allow someone to be successful on the mat, also apply to being successful outside of it. Rener Gracie is the co-owner and head instructor of Gracie University and the author of [The 32 Principles: Harnessing the Power of Jiu-Jitsu to Succeed in Business, Relationships, and Life] (https://amzn.to/47GgTH7) . Today on the show, Rener shares how he’s used some of the core teachings of jiu-jitsu, like the Pyramid Principle and the River Principle, in his business, and how you can use them to grapple with all kinds of obstacles in life. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- ---Art of Manliness + Gracie Intro to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Videos: ------ [Part 1 — The History] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CGYQjC6WOY) ------ [Part 2 — The Basics I] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM_8-c1EqOY) ------ [Part 3 — The Basics II] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKbNbY80yTU) ------ [Part 4 — The Philosophy] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRCcf2Hj4vA) --- [Rener‘s last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #446: How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Will Make You a Better Man] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/podcast-447-how-brazilian-jiu-jitsu-will-make-you-a-better-man/) --- [Gracie University’s 32 Principles of Jiu-Jitsu Video Course] (https://www.gracieuniversity.com/Pages/Public/Subject?enc=f9IIAuzld8tGV%2fqc5P8QFg%3d%3d) --- [Sunday Firesides: Secure Your Base] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-secure-your-base/) --- [AoM Article: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/) Connect With Rener Gracie ------------------------- --- [The 32 Principles book website] (https://www.the32principles.com/pages/public/informationpages/lpcore?enc=Ci6KQ8K%2fFeqoM%2fznoEbKvA%3d%3d) --- [Rener on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/renergracie/) --- [Rener on X] (https://twitter.com/RenerGracie) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/71bd851JsqL.jpg) ... Read more

23 Aug 2023

48 MINS

48:46

23 Aug 2023

#950

Is Cannabis a Safe Drug?

Over the last decade, cannabis use has been legalized in more states. At the same time, the idea that marijuana is a safe drug has steadily increased. But is this an accurate perception? Recent research by my guest, Dr. Ryan Sultan, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University, casts some doubt on a universally affirmative answer to that question, and he says we need to be having a more objective, balanced, and nuanced conversation around cannabis than we currently are. We have exactly that kind of conversation today on the show. We dig into the fact that young adulta are the group most vulnerable to the potentially negative effects of cannabis and how marijuana use in adolescence is linked to both mental illness and cognitive deficits. Dr. Sultan unpacks how cannabis impacts the developing brain and may lead to schizophrenia, especially in males. We also talk about whether if you used marijuana as a young adult and then stopped, your brain can still recover, and a cannabis-related health concern for all ages that doesn’t concern the brain. We end our show with Dr. Sultan’s take on what the safe use of cannabis looks like for adults. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Dr. Sultan’s study: “Nondisordered Cannabis Use Among US Adolescents”] (https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2804450) --- [Recent study on the association between cannabis use and schizophrenia] (https://nida.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/2023/05/young-men-at-highest-risk-schizophrenia-linked-with-cannabis-use-disorder) Connect With Dr. Ryan Sultan ---------------------------- --- [The Sultan Lab at Columbia University] (https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/research-labs/sultan-lab-mental-health-informatics) --- [Dr. Sultan's practice: Integrative Psych ] (https://www.integrativepsych.nyc/resources) - ... Read more

21 Aug 2023

46 MINS

46:37

21 Aug 2023

#949

Advice on Making Love Last . . . From a Divorce Lawyer

If you want insight on how to make love last, you might ask friends, family, a therapist, or a pastor for advice. You probably wouldn't think to turn to a divorce lawyer. But my guest, James Sexton, who does that very job in New York City, says there may be few people who have a better perspective on how to hold a marriage together, than the guy who's got a front row seat to how they fall apart. James is the author of [If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together] (https://amzn.to/3QXFn91) , and today on the show he shares what he's learned from overseeing over a thousand divorces that you can use to reverse engineer a relationship that lasts. We discuss the five types of infidelity James sees in his practice and the approach to marriage that will prevent affairs. We then get into common sources of conflict in a marriage, including sex, finances, and kids, and how to address these issues so you never end up in James', or any other divorce lawyer's, office. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoMPodcast #550: How to Strengthen Your Marriage Against Divorce] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/podcast-550-how-to-strengthen-your-marriage-against-divorce/) --- [AoM Article: Why the Secret of a Happy, Successful Marriage Is Treating It Like a Bank Account] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/secret-happy-successful-marriage-treating-like-bank-account/) --- [AoM Podcast #850: The Infidelity Formula] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/podcast-850-the-infidelity-formula/) --- [AoM Article: A Resolution for Romance — The 52 Love Notes Challenge] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/a-resolution-for-romance-the-52-loves-notes-challenge/) --- [AoM Article: How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/how-and-why-to-hold-a-weekly-marriage-meeting/) --- [C.S. Lewis quote on the "dance" in relationships from That Hideous Strength] (http://www.eastcharlottepres.org/2015/11/18/love-obedience/) Connect With James Sexton ------------------------- --- [James on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer/?hl=en) --- [James' firm] (https://www.nycdivorces.com/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/71pvzDotgVL.jpg) ... Read more

16 Aug 2023

1 HR 06 MINS

1:06:56

16 Aug 2023

#948

Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind

There are tons of podcasts, blog posts, and books about how to get more focused. Focus is seen as the key to greater productivity and success. While focus is important, my guest says there are also amazing powers to be found in something that gets a lot less attention: the unfocused mind. Dr. Srini Pillay is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, a brain-imaging researcher, and the author of [Tinker Dabble Doodle Try: Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind] (https://amzn.to/3OwMCSs) . Today on the show, Srini explains the downsides of excessive focus, the importance of tapping into the unfocused mind, especially in the age of A.I., and the benefits of doing so, including how mind wandering can help you be more productive and creative, allow you to see greater possibilities for your life, and offer important insights that will get you unstuck from problems. He shares strategies to incorporate unfocused time into your lifestyle, including how to make daydreaming more beneficial and why you should let yourself doodle without guilt. Srini also makes a case for multitasking in the sense of switching back and forth between different tasks. Connect With Srini Pillay ------------------------- --- [Srini's website] (https://drsrinipillay.com/) --- [Neuro Business Group website] (https://nbgcorporate.com/) --- [Srini on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/drsrinipillay) --- [Srini on X] (https://twitter.com/srinipillay) --- [Srini on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/drsrinipillay/?hl=en) --- [Srini's articles on Harvard Health] (https://www.health.harvard.edu/authors/srini-pillay-md) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/71pH8oPHVL.jpg) ... Read more

14 Aug 2023

40 MINS

40:56

14 Aug 2023

#947

The Life We're Looking For

Note: This is a rebroadcast. In the quiet moments of our lives, we can all sense that our hearts long for something, though we often don't know what that something is. We seek an answer in our phones, and while they can provide some sense of extension and fulfillment — a feeling of magic — the use of technology also comes with significant costs in individual development and interpersonal connection that we typically don't fully understand and consider. My guest today will unpack what it is we really yearn for, how technology, when misused, can direct us away from the path to fulfilling those yearnings, and how we can find true human flourishing in a world in which so much works against it. His name is Andy Crouch and he's the author of [The Life We're Looking For: Reclaiming Relationship in a Technological World] (https://amzn.to/3uZnsmU) . Today on the show we talk about the tradeoffs you make when you seek magic without mastery, and how we can understand our desires better once we understand ourselves as heart, soul, mind, and strength complexes who want to be loved and known. We discuss the difference between interactions that are personal versus personalized, as well as the difference between devices and instruments, and how to use your phone as the latter instead of the former. We end our conversation with why Andy thinks we need to redesign the architecture of our relational lives and create something he calls "households." Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe] (https://amzn.to/3KUbujS) --- [Wendell Berry] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendell_Berry) --- [AoM article on Plato's idea of the tripartite nature of the soul] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/what-is-a-man-the-allegory-of-the-chariot/) --- [AoM Podcast #723: Men Without Chests] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-723-men-without-chests/) --- [AoM Article: The Tool Works on Both Ends] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/the-tool-works-at-both-ends/) --- [AoM Article: Communities vs. Networks — To Which Do You Belong?] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/relationships/communities-vs-networks-to-which-do-you-belong/) Connect With Andy Crouch ------------------------ --- [Andy's Website] (https://andy-crouch.com/) --- [Praxis Labs] (https://www.praxislabs.org/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2022/04/81-h0ygbkrL.jpeg) ... Read more

09 Aug 2023

56 MINS

56:07

09 Aug 2023

#946

The Psychology of Effective Weight Loss

Note: This is a rebroadcast. When most people think about losing weight, they think about the details of a diet plan — what food to eat, how much of it to eat, and when to eat it. What they don't spend enough time working on, are the mental and emotional habits that can sabotage their efforts, regardless of the diet plan they adopt. That's why my guest today, despite being a biochemist, has made mindset the foundation of his approach to losing weight. His name is Dr. Trevor Kashey and he's the founder of [Trevor Kashey Nutrition] (https://www.trevorkasheynutrition.com/) (TKN). We begin our conversation with a thumbnail of Trevor's unique background, which includes earning his first university degree in biochemistry at the age of 17, setting national records in powerlifting, and coaching an Olympic fight team, as well as how he went from coaching elite athletes to helping average folks lose weight. We then talk about why Trevor focuses on bridging the gap between knowledge and action, and the erroneous assumptions people make that keep them from following through on their intentions. From there we turn to the phases TKN takes its clients through, which begins with getting what Trevor calls "food clarity." We discuss how simply tracking what you eat can get you to naturally change your diet because of something called "the Hawthorne effect," and can almost be all you need to do to start losing weight. We then get into how to deal with your hunger when you're cutting calories, and why it's crucial to be decisive about it. We also discuss how you can eventually eat more once you work on eating less, how to manage the expectation of consistent weight loss, and why you really need to weigh yourself every week. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Podcast #708: Overcoming the Comfort Crisis ] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/podcast-708-overcoming-the-comfort-crisis/) --- [AoM Podcast #715: What's the Most Sustainable Diet?] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/most-sustainable-diet/) --- [AoM Podcast #475: How to Lose Weight, and Keep It Off Forever ] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-lose-weight-keep-it-off/) --- [AoM article on how to track your food intake] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-track-macros/) --- [AoM Article: 6 Ways to Measure Your Body Fat] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/6-ways-to-measure-your-body-fat/) --- [The Hawthorne effect] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawthorne_effect) --- [AoM series on willpower] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/willpower/) Connect With Dr. Trevor Kashey ------------------------------ --- [Trevor Kashey Nutrition: TKN] (https://www.trevorkasheynutrition.com) --- [Trevor on Instagram] (https://www.instagram.com/drkashey/?hl=en) --- [The Best Nutrition Group EVER on FB] (https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheBESTNutritionGroupEVER/) ... Read more

07 Aug 2023

47 MINS

47:47

07 Aug 2023

#945

The Most Insightful Personality Test

Personality tests sometimes come in for criticism these days for not being very accurate or helpful or for putting people into boxes. And it’s true that no test can ever entirely peg the complexities of personality, and they shouldn’t be applied with too much rigidity. But what these tests are useful for is serving as a prompt for reflecting on the particular ways you think, feel, and act, and, perhaps even more importantly, getting you to think about the fact that other people can see and approach the world in ways that are fundamentally different from your own. I haven’t found a personality test that better serves as this kind of tool than what’s called the [“People Code”] (https://amzn.to/3OcYlFs) or the “Color Code,” which categorizes people into four colors: Reds, Blues, Whites, and Yellows. I’ve found it uncanningly insightful in helping me understand myself and others better, and it’s become a regular topic of conversation amongst my family and friends. Today I talk to the creator of the Color Code Personality Profile, psychologist Dr. Taylor Hartman. We discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the four color types, how to interact with each color to bring out their best traits, and how the colors combine in relationships. We then discuss the importance of developing the strengths of other colors besides your own, a process Taylor calls becoming “charactered.” Learn More/Connect With Taylor Hartman -------------------------------------- --- [Taylor’s Website] (https://taylorhartman.com/) --- [Take the ColorCode Assessment] (https://taylorhartman.com/assessment-information/) ------Discount code for the assessment: AOM30 --- [The People Code] (https://amzn.to/3KkJRlL) --- [The Character Code] (https://amzn.to/454EMpH) --- [Taylor on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/taylor-hartman-29b37a1) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/08/61ExKhd6wOL.jpg) ... Read more

02 Aug 2023

48 MINS

48:54

02 Aug 2023

#944

Why We Fight

We often suppose that wars are fought over things like resources, border disputes, and ideologies. My guest calls this "the spreadsheet approach to war" and argues that, in reality, such factors only come in as justifications for the much deeper drives at play. Mike Martin is a Senior Visiting Fellow in the Department of War Studies, King's College London and the author of [Why We Fight] (https://amzn.to/458N67E) . Today on the show, he draws on his background in biology and experience serving in the British army to offer an explanation as to why individuals and nation-states go to war. Mike argues that there are two fundamental impulses behind the drive to war: the drive for status and the drive for belonging. We discuss these motivations and how leaders and ideologies corral and amplify them. We end our conversation with how this view of war could prevent conflicts and allow them to be fought more successfully, and also be a lens for how to help men flourish in a healthy way. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM series on status] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/men-and-status-an-introduction/) --- [AoM series on honor] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/manly-honor-part-i-what-is-honor/) --- [AoM Podcast #756: How the Desire for Status Explains (Pretty Much) Everything] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-756-how-the-desire-for-status-explains-pretty-much-everything/) --- [AoM Podcast #908: Would You Have Been a Patriot or a Loyalist?] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-908-would-you-have-been-a-patriot-or-a-loyalist/) --- [AoM Podcast #419: American Honor — Creating the Nation’s Ideals During the Revolution] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-419-american-honor-creating-the-nations-ideals-during-the-revolution/) --- [Mike's latest book: How to Fight a War] (https://amzn.to/3q1SVoN) Connect With Mike Martin ------------------------ --- [Mike on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/ThreshedThought) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/07/figh2.jpeg) - ... Read more

31 Jul 2023

46 MINS

46:11

31 Jul 2023

#943

Finally Learn to Say No

When someone asks us to do something we don’t want to do, we often say yes even though we want to say no, because we think that saying no will feel terrible. But my guest, Dr. Vanessa Patrick, says the opposite is true: we actually feel great when we say no. So why do we have such a hard time doing so? Today on the show, Vanessa, who’s the author of [The Power of Saying No: The New Science of How to Say No that Puts You in Charge of Your Life] (https://amzn.to/453a5B6) , answers that question and more. She shares how to categorize the asks you get into quadrants to determine whether you should say yes or no to them. And she explains how to give an “empowered refusal” — a no that’s phrased in a way that makes it less likely to create offense or pushback — so you can start saying no to the things that don’t matter, and spend more of your time on the things that do. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Article: How to Firmly Say No Without Coming Off Like a Jerk] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-firmly-say-no-without-coming-off-like-a-jerk/) --- [AoM Article: A Better Way to Say No] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/a-better-way-to-say-no/) --- [Sunday Firesides: Give the Gift of No] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-give-the-gift-of-no/) --- [AoM Article: Quit Being a Pushover: How to Be Assertive] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/how-to-be-assertive/) --- [AoM Article: There Is No Indispensable Man] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/there-is-no-indispensable-man/) Connect With Dr. Vanessa Patrick -------------------------------- --- [Vanessa’s website] (https://www.vanessapatrick.net/) --- [Vanessa on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessapatrick23) --- [Vanessa on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/vpatrick23) --- [Vanessa on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/vanpat23/) --- [Vanessa’s faculty page] (https://www.bauer.uh.edu/vpatrick/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/07/71ikMPyuSL.jpg) - ... Read more

26 Jul 2023

44 MINS

44:08

26 Jul 2023

#942

Set Your Future Self Up for Success

As you move through time, you exist as a present self who makes decisions, an in-between self who should carry out those decisions, and a future self who will benefit from those decisions. Yet as we all know, in-between self often fails to follow through on what present self resolves, leaving future self pretty bummed out. The solution to this dilemma, my guest says, is for your present self to become much better friends with your future self. His name is Hal Hershfield, and he's a professor of marketing, behavioral decision making, and psychology, and the author of [Your Future Self: How to Make Tomorrow Better Today] (https://amzn.to/43FRsSC) . Hal and I spend the first part of our conversation taking a really interesting philosophical dive into what the self even is. We talk about why our future self can feel like a stranger, why it's hard to know what he'll be like, and what this dilemma has to do with becoming a vampire. We then discuss how building a stronger connection with your future self makes your present self more willing to help him, and how you can become closer to your future self by engaging in mental time traveling. Hal shares a couple techniques that can facilitate this mental time travel, three mistakes people make in taking this cognitive trip, and how to start making tomorrow better today. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- ["The Self Is Moral" by Nina Strohminger] (https://aeon.co/essays/moral-character-is-the-foundation-of-a-sense-of-personal-identity) --- [Transformative Experience by L. A. Paul] (https://amzn.to/44K6MyP) --- [Yuta Chishima and Anne Wilson on writing a letter to and from your future self] (https://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/what-would-your-future-self-tell-you) --- [The End-of-History Illusion] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/End-of-history_illusion) --- [stickK.com] (http://stickk.com/) --- [AoM Podcast #731: A Futurist’s Guide to Building the Life You Want] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/futurists-guide-to-building-the-life-you-want/) Connect With Hal Hershfield --------------------------- --- [Hal's Website] (https://www.halhershfield.com/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/07/9780316421256-1.webp) ... Read more

24 Jul 2023

49 MINS

49:55

24 Jul 2023

#941

The Fourth Turning — How History's Crisis Period Could Unfold

While studying history back in the 1990s, Neil Howe and the late William Strauss noticed something: there seemed to be a pattern to history that repeated itself again and again. Howe and Strauss developed a theory that history moves in 80-100-year cycles divided into four 20-25-year "turnings": the High, Awakening, Unraveling, and Crisis. Neil Howe argues that we are currently living through a Fourth Turning, and today on the show, we unpack what that means. Neil is a historian, demographer, and economist, and his latest book is [The Fourth Turning Is Here] (https://amzn.to/3NQ41oI) . The crisis of the Fourth Turning isn't a historical event — it's a generation-long era that sometimes seems to be getting better, sometimes seems to be getting worse, and moves through several phases before reaching a climax and resolution. Neil explains what these phases look like, which ones we've already been through and which are still to come, and when he thinks our Fourth Turning will end and the cycle of history will start over. In the second part of our conversation, Neil talks about what cultural changes he thinks we'll experience as the Fourth Turning progresses, including how he thinks gender roles will shift. We also discuss what happens if the crisis ends in disaster, and the most important thing to do to successfully navigate a Fourth Turning. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM article: The Generations of Men — How the Cycles of History Shape Your Values and Your Future] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/strauss-howe-generational-cycle-theory/) --- [Neil's last appearance on the show: Episode #256] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-236-generational-cycle-theory-can-tell-us-present-age/) Connect With Neil Howe ---------------------- --- [Neil on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/HoweGeneration) --- [Neil on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/neilhowe) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/07/the-fourth-turning-is-here-9781982173739_hr.jpg) ... Read more

19 Jul 2023

50 MINS

50:42

19 Jul 2023

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#959

For a Better Work Out, Think Like a Kid

#958

Beyond Lazy Learning — The Keys to Gaining and Retaining Knowledge

#957

The 5 Shifts of Manhood

#956

When the Game Was War — Lessons From the Greatest NBA Season of All Time

#955

How to Develop Rugged Flexibility

#954

Take Back the Weekend

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Leadership Is Overrated

#952

For Whom The Bell Tolls

#951

How to Use the Principles of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to Overcome Obstacles in Business and Life

#950

Is Cannabis a Safe Drug?

#949

Advice on Making Love Last . . . From a Divorce Lawyer

#948

Unlock the Power of the Unfocused Mind

#947

The Life We're Looking For

#946

The Psychology of Effective Weight Loss

#945

The Most Insightful Personality Test

#944

Why We Fight

#943

Finally Learn to Say No

#942

Set Your Future Self Up for Success

#941

The Fourth Turning — How History's Crisis Period Could Unfold