The Art of Manliness podcast

The Art of Manliness

The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man's life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity. Engaging and edifying interviews with some of the world's most interesting doers and thinkers drop the fluff and filler to glean guests' very best, potentially life-changing, insights.

The Art of Manliness Podcast aims to deepen and improve every area of a man's life, from fitness and philosophy, to relationships and productivity. Engaging and edifying interviews with some of the world's most interesting doers and thinkers drop the fluff and filler to glean guests' very best, potentially life-changing, insights.

 

#1013

Tips From a Hostage Negotiator on Handling Difficult Conversations

In resolving hundreds of kidnap-for-ransom cases involving gang leaders, pirates, and extortionists, Scott Walker, a former Scotland Yard detective, has learned a thing or two about how to negotiate and communicate in a crisis. He shares how to apply those lessons to the difficult conversations we all have in our everyday lives in his book [Order Out of Chaos: Win Every Negotiation, Thrive in Adversity, and Become a World-Class Communicator] (https://amzn.to/4crxzoh) , and we talk about his tips on today's show. Scott and I discuss what a "red center" means in a kidnap-for-ransom scenario and how to create one in your personal life, the "immediate action drill" that can help you stay in that red center, the importance of separating the decision-maker from the communicator in a negotiation and having a "battle rhythm," why you don't give hostage takers the money they ask for right away and how to structure a negotiation instead, and more. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/) --- [AoM Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/podcast-648-lessons-in-building-rapport-from-experts-in-terrorist-interrogation/) --- [AoM Podcast #234: Haggling and Deal Making Advice From a FBI Hostage Negotiator] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/wealth/podcast-234-haggling-and-deal-making-advice-from-a-fbi-hostage-negotiator/) --- [Box breathing] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6RbW2LtdFs) --- [Physiological sigh] (https://youtu.be/KxOSlR_Mf-s?si=FQ3DAgXMt7hWNPij&t=93) Connect With Scott Walker ------------------------- --- [Scott's website] (https://www.scottwalkerbooks.co.uk/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/61caJycVi7L._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

Yesterday

47 MINS

47:44

Yesterday


#1012

Lessons in Action, Agency, and Purpose From Buying a Ghost Town

In the 19th century, Cerro Gordo, which sits above Death Valley, was the largest silver mine in America, a place where dreamers came to strike it rich. In the 21st century, Brent Underwood used his life savings to buy what had become an abandoned ghost town, and ended up finding a very different kind of wealth there. Brent has spent four years living in Cerro Gordo and has documented the details of the mines he’s explored, the artifacts he’s found, and how he’s restoring the town on his popular YouTube channel, Ghost Town Living. Now, in a book by the same name, he takes a wider-view lens on his adventures there and shares the big lessons he’s learned from his experiences and from the original residents of Cerro Gordo. We get into some of those lessons on today’s show. We first talk about how and why Brent bought a ghost town as a way of escaping a typical 9-5 life and finding a deeper longer-term purpose. We then discuss what restoring Cerro Gordo has taught him about the necessity of getting started and taking real action, how learning the context of what you do can add greater meaning to it, the importance of understanding the long-term consequences of short-term thinking, the satisfactions that come with being a high-agency person, and more. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Burrow Schmidt Tunnel] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burro_Schmidt_Tunnel) --- [Owens Lake] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Owens_Lake) --- [AoM Article: Become a Self-Starter] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/become-a-self-starter-autonomy-as-the-key-to-personal-motivation/) --- [AoM Article:Meditations on the Wisdom of Action] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/meditations-wisdom-action/) Connect With Brent Underwood ---------------------------- --- [GhostTown Living on YouTube] (https://www.youtube.com/@GhostTownLiving) --- [Brent on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/brentwunderwood/?hl=en) --- [Brent on X] (https://twitter.com/underwoodbrent) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/A1xtOCrDg5L._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

25 Mar 2024

45 MINS

45:28

25 Mar 2024


#1011

Get More Done With the Power of Timeboxing

From work to chores to entertaining distractions, there are many options for what you can be doing at any moment in the modern world. We often endlessly toggle between these options and, as a result, feel frazzled and frustratingly unproductive. We feel ever haunted by the question, "What should I be doing right now?" (Or "What am I even doing right now?") My guest will share a simple but effective productivity method that will quash this feeling of overwhelm, answer that question, and help you make much better use of your time. Marc Zao-Sanders is the CEO and co-founder of filtered.com, a learning tech company, and the author of [Timeboxing: The Power of Doing One Thing at a Time] (https://amzn.to/4a1dIKH) . In the first half of our conversation, we unpack what timeboxing — which brings your calendar and to-do list together — is all about and its benefits as a time management system, including how it can help you get more done, live with greater intention and freedom, and even create a log of memories. In the second half of our conversation, we get into the practicalities of timeboxing, from how to capture the to-dos that will go on your calendar to how to deal with things that might pull you away from it. We end our conversation with how you can get started with timeboxing right now and have a more focused, productive, and satisfying day tomorrow. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Podcast #543: Learn the System for Getting Things Done With David Allen] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-543-learn-the-system-for-getting-things-done/) --- [AoM Podcast #972: Down With Pseudo-Productivity — Why We Need to Transform the Way We Work With Cal Newport] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/career/slow-productivity-cal-newport/) --- [AoM Article: The Eisenhower Decision Matrix — How to Distinguish Between Urgent and Important Tasks and Make Real Progress in Your Life] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/eisenhower-decision-matrix/) --- [AoM Podcast #768: Become a Focused Monotasker] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/monotasking-podcast/) --- [AoM Article: The Productivity Tool I Use to Get Things Done] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/todoist-productivity-tips/) --- [AoM Article: A Formula for Success — The Power of Implementation Intentions] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/a-formula-for-success-the-power-of-implementation-intentions/) Connect With Marc Zao-Sanders ----------------------------- --- [Marc's website] (https://marczaosanders.com/) --- [Marc on LinkedIn] (https://uk.linkedin.com/in/marczaosanders) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/717czXZR03L._SL1500_.jpg)   - ... Read more

20 Mar 2024

51 MINS

51:02

20 Mar 2024


#1010

How to Shift Out of the Midlife Malaise

When you think about someone having a midlife crisis, you probably think of a man getting divorced, stepping out with a younger woman, and buying a sports car. But my guest today says the often jokey, mockable trope of the midlife crisis we have in our popular culture discounts the fact that the sense of dissatisfaction people can feel in their middle years is quite real, and that the questions it raises are profond, philosophical, and worth earnestly grappling with. His name is Kieran Setiya, and he's a professor of philosophy and the author of [Midlife: A Philosophical Guide] (https://amzn.to/3JaIyD2) . Kieran and I first discuss what researchers have uncovered about whether the midlife crisis really exists, how it might be better described as a kind of midlife malaise, and how Kieran's own sense of life dissatisfaction began when he was only in his mid-thirties. We then explore the philosophical reframing that can help in dealing with the existential issues that the journey into midlife often raises, including feeling like you've missed out on certain possibilities and feeling regret over your mistakes and misfortunes. We also talk about how to shift out of one primary cause of the midlife malaise — the sense that your life is merely about putting out fires and checking off boxes. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Seasons of a Man's Life] (https://amzn.to/3AR47FI) by Daniel Levinson --- [AoM series on Levinson's research] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/the-seasons-of-a-mans-life-an-introduction/) --- [Transformations: Growth and Change in Adult Life] (https://amzn.to/3oDRLfp) by Roger Gould --- [Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life] (https://amzn.to/3GjXjS7) by Gail Sheehy --- [Orville Gilbert Brim's MacArthur study on "Midlife in the United States"] (https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/web/NACDA/studies/2760) --- [David Branchflower's study on the U-shaped curve of happiness] (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00148-020-00797-z) --- [John Stuart Mill] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Stuart_Mill) --- [Sunday Firesides: Youth Is Not an Identity] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/sunday-firesides-youth-is-not-an-identity/) --- [AoM Podcast #770: Philosophical Tools for Living the Good Life] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/good-life-method/) --- [AoM Podcast #620: How to Deal With Life's Regrets] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-620-how-to-deal-with-lifes-regrets/) --- [AoM Article: The George Bailey Technique — Mentally Erase Your Blessings for Greater Joy and Optimism] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/the-george-bailey-technique/) --- [AoM Podcast #527: Father Wounds, Male Spirituality, and the Journey to the Second Half of Life With Richard Rohr] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/male-spirituality-richard-rohr/) --- [AoM Podcast #598: Journeying From the First to the Second Half of Life With James Hollis] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/podcast-598-journeying-from-the-first-to-the-second-half-of-life/) Connect With Kieran Setiya -------------------------- --- [Kieran's Website] (http://www.ksetiya.net/) --- [Kieran on Twitter] (https://twitter.com/KieranSetiya?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor) --- [Kieran's Podcast] (https://anchor.fm/kieran-setiya) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2022/02/71Hmr7hDdmL.jpeg) ... Read more

18 Mar 2024

52 MINS

52:13

18 Mar 2024


#1009

The 3 Musical Geniuses Behind the Most Popular Jazz Album of All Time

Even if you're not very into jazz, you probably know Kind of Blue, the jazz album that's sold more copies than any other and is widely considered one of the greatest albums ever, in any genre. Among the sextet of musicians who played on the album, three stand out as true jazz geniuses: Miles Davis, Bill Evans, and John Coltrane. Today on the show, James Kaplan, author of [3 Shades of Blue: Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Bill Evans, and the Lost Empire of Cool] (https://amzn.to/3x0MOUD) , unpacks the stories behind these towering figures. We discuss their background, their demons, their passion for musical greatness, and what they contributed to the evolving world of jazz. And we discuss why, when they got together to record Kind of Blue, the result was the most timeless and beloved jazz album in history. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [James' last appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #186 — The Legend and Reality of Frank Sinatra] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/knowledge-of-men/podcast-186-the-legend-and-reality-of-frank-sinatra/) --- ["Miles Davis Blows His Horn" — James' 1989 Vanity Fair profile of Davis] (https://archive.vanityfair.com/article/1989/8/miles-davis-blows-his-horn) --- [AoM Article: A Crash Course in Jazz Appreciation] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/entertainment/jazz-appreciation-for-beginners/) --- [AoM Article: Want to Get Into Jazz? Listen to These 10 Albums First] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/living/entertainment/10-albums-for-jazz-beginners/) ---Albums mentioned in the show ------ [Kind of Blue by Miles Davis] (https://open.spotify.com/album/1weenld61qoidwYuZ1GESA?si=vbjCa6VESd2Hwtj1ptaPoA) ------ [Portraits in Jazz by Bill Evans Trio] (https://open.spotify.com/album/093nLQ4H81HusNsFdGS4Or?si=ePZ-BWqwQ6-JPe_mmi03yA) ------ [Bitches Brew by Miles Davis] (https://open.spotify.com/album/3Q0zkOZEOC855ErOOJ1AdO?si=tuy2CRKwQwKhKGhn87J6iQ) ------ [Giant Steps by John Coltrane] (https://open.spotify.com/album/6NkgPYCMAzttRIKDpuJrFp?si=DXW0DavbSb6oAMZdlQe-gA) Connect With James Kaplan ------------------------- --- [James' website] (https://jameskaplan.net/) ![Person standing under a streetlight at night with the overlay of text related to jazz music, literature, and Podcast #974.] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/713WQ70oeyL._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

13 Mar 2024

55 MINS

55:00

13 Mar 2024


#1008

A Butler's Guide to Managing Your Household

It's a tough job to manage a household. Things need to be regularly fixed, maintained, and cleaned. How do you stay on top of these tasks in order to keep your home in tip-top shape? My guest knows his way all around this issue and has some field-tested, insider advice to offer. Charles MacPherson spent two decades as the major-domo or chief butler of a grand household. He's also the founder of North America's only registered school for butlers and household managers and the author of several books drawn from his butlering experience, including [The Butler Speaks: A Return to Proper Etiquette, Stylish Entertaining, and the Art of Good Housekeeping] (https://amzn.to/4c6KlIt) . In the first part of our conversation, Charles charts the history of domestic service and describes why the practice of having servants like a butler and maid ebbed in the mid-20th century but has made a comeback today. We then turn to what average folks who don't have a household staff can do to better manage their homes. Charles recommends keeping something called a "butler's book" to stay on top of household schedules and maintenance checklists. We then discuss how to clean your home more logically and efficiently. Charles shares his golden rules of house cleaning, the cleaning task you've probably neglected (hint: go take a look at the side of the door on your dishwasher), his surprising choice for the best product to use to clean your shower, how often you should change your bedsheets, and much more. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Article: How to Establish a Simple Cleaning Routine and Stick to It] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/heading-out-on-your-own-day-14-establish-a-simple-cleaning-routine-and-stick-to-it/) --- [AoM Article: How to Clean Your Entire House in 30 Minutes] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/how-to-clean-house-in-30-minutes/) --- [AoM Article: How to Clean Like a Man] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/how-to-clean-like-a-man/) --- [AoM Article: Keep Your House in Tip-Top Shape — An Incredibly Handy Home Maintenance Checklist] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/lifestyle/homeownership/keep-your-house-in-tip-top-shape-an-incredibly-handy-home-maintenance-checklist/) --- [The Book of Household Management by Isabella Beeton] (https://amzn.to/3ItKpo6) Connect With Charles MacPherson ------------------------------- --- [Charles' website] (https://www.charlesmacpherson.com/) ![Cover of the book ] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/5122Nbe5eHL._SL1200_.jpg) ... Read more

11 Mar 2024

49 MINS

49:15

11 Mar 2024


#1007

Down With Pseudo-Productivity: Why We Need to Transform the Way We Work

The last several years have seen the rise of a sort of anti-productivity movement. Knowledge workers who feel burned out and that work is pointless, meaningless, and grinding, have been talking more about opting out, “quiet quitting,” and doing nothing. My guest would argue that, in fact, productivity itself isn’t the problem and that most people actually want to do good work. Instead, he says, it’s our whole approach to productivity that’s broken and needs to be transformed. Cal Newport is a professor of computer science and the author of books like [Deep Work] (https://amzn.to/49zU9ZQ) and [Digital Minimalism] (https://amzn.to/49RClJG) . His latest book is [Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout] (https://amzn.to/3Tly1gb) . Today on the show, Cal explains what’s led to the rise of what he calls “pseudo-productivity” and the fallout when we apply the structures of the industrial revolution to modern work. He then unpacks the tenets and tactics of the “slow productivity” approach to work, and how to implement them whether you work for yourself or for a boss. We discuss why you need to do fewer things in the short-term to do more things in the long term, the artificiality of working at the same intensity every day and how to inject more seasonality in your work, the role quiet quitting can play in achieving greater balance, and many other ideas on how to make modern work more sustainable, humane, and fruitful. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- ---Cal‘s previous appearances on the AoM Podcast: ------ [Episode #78: The Myth of Following Your Passion] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/career/art-of-manliness-podcast-78-the-myth-of-following-your-passion/) ------ [Episode #168: The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-168-the-value-of-deep-work-in-the-age-of-distraction/) ------ [Episode #479: Becoming a Digital Minimalist] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/digital-minimalism-cal-newport/) ------ [Episode #689: Email Is Making Us Miserable — Here’s What to Do About It] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/career/podcast-689-email-is-making-us-miserable-heres-what-to-do-about-it/) --- [AoM Article: A Counterintuitive Cure for Burnout] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/featured/a-counterintuitive-cure-for-burnout/) --- [AoM article on the importance of location in productivity ] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/alexander-graham-bells-location-based-prompt-method-can-make-productive/) --- [Ira Glass’ past comments on the gap between taste and quality] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91FQKciKfHI)  and  [more recent comments on Michael Lewis’ podcast.] (https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/against-the-rules/other-peoples-money-ira-glass-on-finding-your-voice) Connect With CalNewport ----------------------- --- [Cal‘s website] (https://calnewport.com/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/A1K3zXnyrNL._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

06 Mar 2024

1 HR 00 MINS

1:00:24

06 Mar 2024


#1006

The 5 Factors for Crafting Simple (Read: Effective!) Messages

Whether you’re a teacher, parent, or entrepreneur, you want to be able to persuade your students, children, and customers with your messages. That’s a tall task in the modern age, when people are bombarded with 13 hours of media a day. How do you cut through all that noise to make sure you’re heard? My guest would say it’s all about keeping things simple. Ben Guttmann is a marketing educator and consultant who’s helped promote everything from the NFL to New York Times-bestselling authors. He is himself the author of [Simply Put: Why Clear Messages Win—and How to Design Them] (https://amzn.to/3InEWiM) . Today on the show, Ben explains the gap between how people like to receive messages and the self-sabotaging, complication-introducing ways people tend to send them. We then talk about the five factors of effective marketing that anyone can use to close this gap and craft simple, effective, influential messages. We discuss why you should highlight something’s benefits rather than its features, the question to ask to figure out what those benefits are, how to replace “and” with “so” to create more focused messages, how the fad of using the F-word in book titles shows the transience of salience, how to make your message minimal by imagining it as a Jenga tower and how minimal isn’t the same thing as short, and much more, including Ben’s most immediately actionable tip for crafting better, simpler messages. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Podcast #666: The Power of Brevity in a Noisy World] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/skills/how-to/how-to-be-a-better-communicator/) --- [AoM Podcast #580: Why People Do (Or Don’t) Listen to You] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/podcast-580-why-people-do-or-dont-listen-to-you/) --- [Sunday Firesides:  Don’t Confuse Niceness With Kindness] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/sunday-firesides-dont-confuse-niceness-with-kindness/) --- [Thing Explainer: Complicated Stuff in Simple Words by Randall Munroe] (https://amzn.to/3wtyEv7) Connect With Ben Guttmann ------------------------- --- [Ben’s website] (https://www.benguttmann.com/) --- [Ben on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/benguttmann) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/616GbDdNBGL._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

04 Mar 2024

49 MINS

49:16

04 Mar 2024


#1005

The Misconceptions of HIIT (And the Role It Can Play in Your Fitness Routine)

You've probably heard of HIIT — high intensity interval training. In fact, you may feel so familiar with the idea that you think you understand it. But do you? People often hold some popular misconceptions about HIIT, and today we'll unpack what some of those are with Dr. Martin Gibala, a foremost researcher of this fitness modality and the author of [The One-Minute Workout: Science Shows a Way to Get Fit That's Smarter, Faster, Shorter] (https://amzn.to/3IcfQ6l) . Martin explains the main, underappreciated advantage of HIIT, which revolves around the "intensity-duration trade-off": the higher intensity you make exercise, the shorter your workouts can be while still triggering improvements in metabolism, cardiovascular health, and mitochondrial capacity. We get into the fact that the intensity of HIIT needn't be as high as you might think and that, contrary to popular belief, sprinting at intervals is actually a predominantly aerobic rather than anaerobic workout. Martin answers questions like whether Zone 2 cardio has an advantage over HIIT, if the so-called "afterburn effect" of HIIT is real, if you can do HIIT if you're older or have heart problems, and whether you should worry about the way HIIT can raise cortisol in the body. He also shares specific HIIT workouts you can do, including a walking interval workout and one of the best higher-intensity protocols to try. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [AoM Article: Conditioning — What It Is and How to Develop It] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/conditioning-what-it-is-and-how-to-develop-it/) --- [AoM Article: You Only Have 15 Minutes to Work Out. What Should You Do?] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/you-only-have-15-minutes-to-work-out-what-should-you-do/) --- [AoM Article: How to Use an Assault Bike to Improve Your All-Around Conditioning] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/fitness/assault-bike-conditioning/) --- [Wingate Anaerobic Test] (https://www.scienceforsport.com/wingate-anaerobic-test/) --- [Japanese 3X3 Interval Walking Training] (https://www.drmichaeljoyner.com/interval-walking-training/) --- [Norwegian 4X4 IntervalTraining] (https://www.ntnu.edu/cerg/advice) --- [10X1 Interval Workout] (https://www.burnthefatinnercircle.com/public/Practical_Interval_Training_10X1_Method.cfm#) --- [Tabata Training] (https://www.cnn.com/2022/04/19/health/tabata-training-workout-tips-wellness/index.html) --- [VILPA — One-minute bursts of activity during daily tasks could prolong your life] (https://www.sydney.edu.au/news-opinion/news/2022/12/09/one-minute-bursts-of-activity-during-daily-tasks-could-prolong-y.html) Connect With Martin Gibala -------------------------- --- [Martin's website] (https://martingibala.com/) --- [Martin on X] (https://twitter.com/gibalam?lang=en) --- [Martin's faculty page] (https://experts.mcmaster.ca/display/gibalam) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/02/81wsUs1XgrL._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

28 Feb 2024

49 MINS

49:50

28 Feb 2024


#1004

The Making of a Stoic Emperor

Perhaps you've read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, a book many turn to to learn and internalize the teachings of Stoic philosophy. But what do you know of the man who penned that seminal text? Here to help us get to know the philosopher and ruler is Donald Robertson, a cognitive-behavior psychotherapist and the author of [Marcus Aurelius: The Stoic Emperor] (https://amzn.to/3OStnUj) . Drawing on the Meditations, three ancient histories about Marcus' life and character, and a cache of private letters between him and his rhetoric tutor, Donald unpacks how Marcus' life shaped his approach to Stoicism, and how Stoicism shaped him. We discuss Marcus' childhood and influences, his idea of manliness, the surprising significance of who he does and doesn't mention in the Meditations, and how he used that journal as a kind of father figure. We also discuss how Marcus may have undergone training modeled on the Spartan agoge, how he came to attention as a successor to the emperorship, how he got turned on to Stoicism as medicine for the soul, and how he used the philosophy to deal with his tumultuous rule. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Donald's previous appearance on the AoM Podcast: Episode #537 — How to Think Like a Roman Emperor] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/marcus-aurelius-stoic-philosophy/) --- [AoM Article: Meditations on a First Reading of Meditations] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/meditations-first-reading-aurelius-meditations/) --- [AoM Article: 5 Ancient Stoic Tactics for Modern Life] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/5-ancient-stoic-tactics-modern-life/) --- [AoM Podcast #316: An Introduction to Stoicism] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/stoicism-podcast/) --- [AoM article on the Spartan agoge] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/manly-lessons/the-spartan-way-manhood-is-a-journey/#:~:text=The%20Spartan%20agoge%20included%20these,one%20age%20to%20the%20next.) --- [Meditations by Marcus Aurelius] (https://amzn.to/48k4WWD) --- [Epictetus' "show me your shoulders" discourse] (https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0236%3Atext%3Ddisc%3Abook%3D1%3Achapter%3D4) Connect With Donald Robertson ----------------------------- --- [Donald's Substack] (https://donaldrobertson.substack.com/) --- [Modern Stoicism] (https://modernstoicism.com/) --- [Plato's Academy Centre] (https://platosacademy.org/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/02/81jgvvTKT-L._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

26 Feb 2024

51 MINS

51:09

26 Feb 2024


#1003

The Secrets of Supercommunicators

Have you ever known one of those people who seemed to be able to connect with anyone? The kind of person who had the ability to make others feel understood and smoothly navigate even the trickiest of conversations? Charles Duhigg calls these folks "supercommunicators," and he's the author of a new book by the same name. Today on the show, Charles explains that what underlies supercommunicators' skill in connection is something called the matching principle, and he unpacks how it works and how you can put it to use in your own conversations. We discuss several techniques for how to figure out what kind of conversation you're having, so you can align your language and energy with the other person. And because emotional conversations can be particularly difficult, we dig into tactics for successfully navigating them, even when they contain a high degree of conflict. We also get into how to carry the skills of connection into your digital conversations. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- ---Charles' previous appearances on the AoM podcast ------ [Episode #61: The Power of Habit] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/art-of-manliness-podcast-61-the-power-of-habit-with-charles-duhigg/) ------ [Episode #196: The Science of Self-Motivation & Productivity] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/podcast-196-the-science-of-self-motivation-productivity/) --- [AoM Podcast #559: How to Handle Difficult Conversations] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/handle-difficult-conversations/) Connect With Charles Duhigg --------------------------- --- [Charles' website] (https://www.charlesduhigg.com/) ![A book cover with some intriguing secrets revealed through text.] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/02/81G2riKjx4L._SL1500_.jpg) ... Read more

21 Feb 2024

44 MINS

44:41

21 Feb 2024


#1002

7 Journaling Techniques That Can Change Your Life

In my twenties and early thirties, I was a regular journaler. Several years ago, however, I stopped journaling almost entirely because I wasn’t getting anything out of it anymore. But my guest has helped me see that my problem wasn’t with journaling itself, but that I had gotten into a journaling rut, and he’s introduced me to some new ways to journal that have inspired me to get back into the practice.  Campbell Walker is an illustrator, animator, podcaster, and YouTuber, as well as the author of  [Your Head is a Houseboat: A Chaotic Guide to Mental Clarity] (https://amzn.to/3jRdOPQ) . Today on the show, Cam shares how journaling transformed his life and what it can do for yours. We discuss why it’s helpful to do a journaling brain dump and how to then move beyond that to incorporate different techniques that will help you get greater insight into the problems you’re facing and how to solve them. We unpack those techniques, which include how to journal to break mindset, conduct a lifestyle and habits audit, and quell anxiety. We also talk about an experiment Cam did where he only used the social media apps on his phone when he was posting something, and every time he got the itch to check social media for fun, he engaged in something he calls “microjournaling” instead. We end our conversation with how Cam’s journaling changed after he became a dad and his tips on making journaling a consistent habit in your life. Resources Related to the Episode -------------------------------- --- [Campbell’s Video: The Journaling Techniques That Changed My Life] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dArgOrm98Bk) --- [Campbell’s Video: I Replaced Social Media With Micro-Journaling for 1 Year] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFvdHfhVIsQ) --- [AoM Article: The Right and Wrong Way to Journal] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/the-right-and-wrong-way-to-journal/) --- [AoM Article: Why I Stopped Journaling] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/why-i-stopped-journaling/) --- [AoM Article: 30 Days to a Better Man Day 8 — Start a Journal] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-8-start-a-journal/) --- [AoM Article: Jumpstart Your Journaling — A 31-Day Challenge] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/jumpstart-your-journaling-a-31-day-challenge/) --- [AoM Article: 31 Journaling Prompts for Building Greater Self-Reliance] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/31-days-greater-self-reliance/) --- [AoM Article: Quit Catastrophizing ] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/behavior/building-your-resiliency-part-vi-quit-catastrophizing/) --- [AoM Podcast #387: Think Like a Poker Player to Make Better Decisions (With Annie Duke)] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/how-to-make-better-decisions/) Connect With Campbell Walker (AKA “Struthless”) ----------------------------------------------- --- [Cam on YouTube] (https://www.youtube.com/c/struthless) --- [Cam on IG] (https://www.instagram.com/struthless69/) --- [The Struthless Shop Website] (https://struthless.com/) --- [The Struthless Animation Studio Website] (https://struthlessstudios.com/) ![image] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2023/01/your-head-is-a-houseboat.jpg) ... Read more

19 Feb 2024

49 MINS

49:28

19 Feb 2024


#1001

Busting the Myths of Marriage — Why Getting Hitched Still Matters

The marriage rate has come down 65% since 1970. There are multiple factors behind this decrease, but one of them is what we might call the poor branding that surrounds marriage in the modern day. From all corners of our culture and from both ends of the ideological spectrum come messages that marriage is an outdated institution, that it hinders financial success and personal fulfillment, and that it's even unimportant when it comes to raising kids. My guest would say that these ideas about marriage are very wrong, and he doesn't come at it from an emotionally-driven perspective, but from what's born out by the data. Dr. Brad Wilcox is a sociologist who heads the nonpartisan National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, which studies marriage and family life. He's also the author of [Get Married] (https://amzn.to/3SHIAbE) . Today on the show, Brad discusses the latest research on marriage and how it belies the common narratives around the institution. We dig into the popular myths around marriage, and how it not only boosts your finances, but predicts happiness in life better than any other factor. Brad also shares the five pillars of marriage that happy couples embrace. Resources Related to the Podcast -------------------------------- --- [Brad's previous appearance on the AoM Podcast: Episode #278 — The Surprising Benefits of Marriage for Men] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/podcast-278-research-backed-benefits-marriage/) --- [The National Marriage Project at UVA] (https://nationalmarriageproject.org/) --- [AoM Article: The Case for Marriage] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/the-case-for-marriage/) --- [Piece in the NYT by Brad: "To Be Happy, Marriage Matters More Than Career"] (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/17/opinion/marriage-happiness-career.html) --- [Piece in the Atlantic co-authored by Brad: "Now Political Polarization Comes for Marriage Prospects"] (https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/06/us-marriage-rate-different-political-views/674358/) --- [Brad's articles at the Institute for Family Studies ] (https://ifstudies.org/blog/author/w-bradford-wilcox) [AoM Podcast #946: Counterintuitive Ideas About Marriage, Family, and Kids] (https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/family/podcast-946-counterintuitive-ideas-about-marriage-family-and-kids/) Connect With Brad Wilcox ------------------------ --- [Brad's faculty page] (https://sociology.as.virginia.edu/people/w-bradford-wilcox) --- [Brad on X] (https://twitter.com/BradWilcoxIFS) --- [Brad on LinkedIn] (https://www.linkedin.com/in/bradford-wilcox-442bb422) ![Get married by brad wilcox.] (https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/02/8175Yjw81L._SL1500_.jpg)   - ... Read more

14 Feb 2024

48 MINS

48:00

14 Feb 2024