We all know relationships takes work, but what is that work, and how do we do it? Reformed divorce lawyer Erik Newton explores these questions and many more in a series of intimate and honest interviews with real couples.


Together. A Podcast About Relationships

Our guest today is Andy Horning from the Elephant Talk podcast. Andy is a fascinating guy – he's two kids and over 13 years into his second marriage, he's been a couple's therapist for more than 15 years, and he's a course leader for the Hoffman Institute. In this episode we talk about everything from pain and loss to how your relationship is your greatest meditation.    If you'd like to learn more about Andy, you can find him at his website: <a href="https://www.elephanttalk.org/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.elephanttalk.org/&source=gmail&ust=1551572823685000&usg=AFQjCNEUjGPhJXfMVLDzUnbdfNAmNT0I1g">https://www.elephanttalk.org/</a> – definitely check out his podcast. If you love Together, you'll love Elephant Talk.   If you'd like to support our program, you can do that at <a href="http://patreon.com/together" target="_blank" rel= "noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://patreon.com/together&source=gmail&ust=1551572823685000&usg=AFQjCNFq0iBDAXLhMONoYjkLIrZzS94AgA">patreon.com/together</a>. Thank you! If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href="http://facebook.com/togethershow" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://facebook.com/togethershow&source=gmail&ust=1551572823685000&usg=AFQjCNFA1IDZYInP4N_Sd_bQSi39l0-d4A">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both <a href= "https://twitter.com/together_show" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/together_show&source=gmail&ust=1551572823685000&usg=AFQjCNFwVhsSGFWnjnRzmC492Iq6e4ujEQ">@together_show</a>,  My personal twitter handle is <a href= "https://twitter.com/newtonlaw" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/newtonlaw&source=gmail&ust=1551572823685000&usg=AFQjCNFpOaE9J6WEgf_hGbz0UXn2WmbU8Q">@newtonlaw</a>, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue. The show is produced & edited by Charlene Goto with <a href= "http://www.Go-ToProductions.com" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Go-To Productions</a>.

S3 EP2 - Shop Talk

First some updates: <ul class="m_8092987846101788556gmail-ul1"> <li class="m_8092987846101788556gmail-li1">Aubrie and I eloped on New Years day! (Details inclusive).</li> <li class="m_8092987846101788556gmail-li1">I’m now the COO of a <a href="http://urbit.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://urbit.org&source=gmail&ust=1550252892424000&usg=AFQjCNH6O4rSqwpY5UN1iEDM3_JZOV3EHA">software startup</a> in San Francisco (<a href="http://urbit.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://Urbit.org&source=gmail&ust=1550252892424000&usg=AFQjCNGFWtBCkPz4PLW-DUry4ZJ9VF3KBg">Urbit.org</a>). Loving this!</li> <li class="m_8092987846101788556gmail-li1">This might be the last season of Together. We’ll figure it out as we go!</li> </ul> Now to our guests! Linda and Charlie Bloom have been a mainstay of the relationship seminar business for decades, but the seminar experience almost ruined their marriage. We get to hear how they managed and what they learned. It’s a fun episode with a very sweet couple. Let me know what you think! If you’d like to learn more about Charlie and Linda Bloom, you can find their website at <a href="http://bloomwork.com/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://bloomwork.com/&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNF3RCEhjjydAX4iDoIqgFaTH9ADJA">http://bloomwork.com/</a> Their latest book, <a href="https://amzn.to/2E9R2vo" target="_blank" rel= "noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://amzn.to/2E9R2vo&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNGfunH5nwb4XTZT-k0-u3SzQPr-Lg">That Which Doesn’t Kill Us</a>, is available on their website, and of course at <a href="https://amzn.to/2E9R2vo" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://amzn.to/2E9R2vo&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNGfunH5nwb4XTZT-k0-u3SzQPr-Lg">Amazon</a>.  If you want to support our program, you can do that at <a href= "http://patreon.com/together" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://patreon.com/together&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNGOIiNWRT4nliF8ydm8su7I9lfUXQ">patreon.com/together</a>. Thank you! If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=http://facebook.com/togethershow&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNEaOrLDZvn8_lWWpVqq5qDbzsP9-Q">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both <a href="https://twitter.com/together_show" target= "_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/together_show&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNGRiZVkQCkGrx2ET09EVmhpmBHkPA">@together_show</a>,  My personal twitter handle is <a href="https://twitter.com/newtonlaw" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl= "https://www.google.com/url?q=https://twitter.com/newtonlaw&source=gmail&ust=1550252892425000&usg=AFQjCNFLHQoLIymH4GySJrHDYFs4L6FOVA">@newtonlaw</a>, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue. Show is produced & edited by Charlene Goto with <a title="Go-To Productions" href= "http://www.go-toproductions.com" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Go-To Productions</a>

S3 EP1 - Season Opener: The Seminar Trap

Today’s Episode – number 131 – is the last episode of season two, which means we’re off for the summer! We’ll be back in September with more interviews! Our guest today, Rachel Dwight is a self described super fat, queer, transgender, disabled superhero. And I’ll add that they’re a force of nature as well! We discuss all of those identities, and we cover a fundamental truth we should all internalize: everyone is entitled to pleasure, no matter their body type. Check out <a href= "theBadAssFatAss.com">Rachel’s amazing blog</a>: theBadAssFatAss.com. You can also support Rachel’s work at their <a title="Rachel Dwight" href= "https://www.patreon.com/BadassFatass">patreon page here</a>: https://www.patreon.com/BadassFatass In other news, I’ve agreed to take on a very small number of couples to help them prepare for long term commitment. I don't have a lot of spaces for this, but if you’d like to hear more about that program, reach out to me via email, or the contact page on our website. Our facebook page is <a href="http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at host@together.guide The music in today’s episode is by <a href="https://sessions.blue/">Blue Dot Sessions</a>, and you can find them at sessions.blue.

S2 E19 - Season Ender: The Badass Fat Ass

Today’s conversation is about shame and how we can use it to explore the darker corners of our relationships. Our guests today, Megan and Brave have done some very useful work in this area - and specifically on what they refer to as “male shame.” Listen in to hear what they mean by that! I’ve you’d like to learn more about Megan and Brave, check out their website: <a href= "https://www.thealchemyofwe.com/">https://www.thealchemyofwe.com/</a> - these two do some fantastic relationship coaching both on the individual and group levels, so check it out. We’ve only got one more episodes in season two of Together, and then I’m taking a break. More about changes and upcoming improvements to the show in that last episode, so stay tuned. Don’t forget to check out our sponsors today: The Date/Able podcast. You can find them at <a href= "http://dateablepodcast.com/">dateablepodcast.com</a>. If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.

S2 E18  From Shame To Intimacy - Megan and Brave

Today's episode is about a couple you would never expect might have a secret life. Penn and Page, our guests today, grew up Catholic, married young, had six kids, and were perfectly content living a predictable life, until one day Penn had an idea...   --- If you’d like to learn more about Penn and Page, you can find their podcast - Swinger Diaries on iTunes or any podcast player, and you can find their website at <a href= "https://swingerdiaries.wordpress.com/">https://swingerdiaries.wordpress.com/</a> If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to <a href="patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a> If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a>   The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.

S2 E17 - Catholic Swingers – It's Definitely A Thing

A cultural conversation has been simmering recently about the concept of emotional labor.  It’s a critical conversation to our relationships, but not many of us know what it means. Today on the podcast, we learn all about what it is, and what to do about it from our guests, Gemma and Rob Hartley. Gemma is a well known journalist, and recently wrote an article for Harpers about emotional labor that went viral. To learn more about Gemma and her writings, check out her website: <a href="http://gemmahartley.com">gemmahartley.com</a>. She has a forthcoming book about emotional labor due out in the fall of 2018. You find information about the book on her site. If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to <a href="http://patreon.com/together" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">patreon.com/together.</a> If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">Facebook</a>, <a href= "https://twitter.com/together_show">Twitter</a>, or <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/together_show/">Instagram</a>, or email me at <a href="mailto:host@together.guide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">host@together.guide.</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at <a href= "http://www.sessions.blue">sessions.blue</a>.

S2 E16 - Emotional Labor

Our guest today - Iris McAlpin is a survivor of multiple experiences with sexual abuse, and having recovered from those, she has some unique ideas about how we all should be relating to the perpetrators of these kind of abuses. She also has quite a bit too say about the healing process that’s available to all of us after abuse. If you’d like to learn more about Iris and her programs, you can find her website at: <a href= "http://irismcalpin.com">http://irismcalpin.com</a> - I’ll put links to that in our show notes as well. Don’t forget about our sponsors for today’s show, <a href="http://Zola.com">Zola.com</a> - for a $50 credit towards your registry, go to <a href= "http://zola.com/couples">zola.com/couples</a>. If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to <a href="patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a> If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.

S2 E15 We All Must Face Our Demons

Our guests today, Ned and Dorcas share a story about a depression that lasted nearly five years. They not only survived that depression as a couple, but built a massively successful company during that time and started a family that’s thriving. This episode is about the tools they used to manage.  Dorcas has written a book about the experience called: <a href="http://amzn.to/2DzQKuO">START, LOVE, REPEAT - How to Stay in Love with Your Entrepreneur in a Crazy Start-up World</a>. You can find out more about Dorcas at her website: <a href= "https://www.chengtozun.com/">https://www.chengtozun.com/</a>. You can learn about Ned's company at their website: <a href= "http://www.dlight.com/">http://www.dlight.com/.</a> Don't forget to check out our sponsors for this episode, and if you'd like to claim a $50 credit towards your wedding registry, visit their site at: <a href= "http://Zola.com/couples">Zola.com/couples</a> If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at <a href= "sessions.blue">sessions.blue</a>.

E2 S14 The Power Of A Shared Narrative

The title of this episode says what’s it’s about: rape and reconciliation. If rape is a topic you find difficult to hear about, you might want to take it easy with this episode.  But know that this story is also about reconciliation. It’s about the healing process that’s available to all of us. Megan Flamer, our guest today is a mindfulness trainer and former broadcast journalist. She works on projects that marry human behavior, communication and tech. She creates retreats all over the world with <a href= "https://shinyhappyhealthy.com/">Shiny Happy Healthy</a> and runs corporate trainings with <a href="http://www.mindfulunderfire.com/">Mindful Under Fire</a>.  If you liked what you heard today, please subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to <a href= "patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a> If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a> The music in today’s episode is by Blue Dot Sessions, and you can find them at sessions.blue.

S2 E13 Rape and Reconciliation

Our guest today, Nenna Joiner, is an African American Lesbian porn producer and sex shop owner in downtown Oakland. Our conversation ranges all over the sex universe from impotence, to getting on your knees in church and in sex, to whether Lesbians are the new gay men, to - of course - toys and porn. If you’d like to find Nenna online or meet her in person, she’s often at her shop, Feelmore in Oakland. You can find their website at: <a href="https://feelmore510.com/">https://feelmore510.com/</a> If you liked what you heard today, please do subscribe. It’s not free to produce this show, and I would absolutely love your support. You can support our show by going to patreon.com/together If you’ve got questions or comments, or if you just want to connect, you can find on social media. Our facebook page is <a href= "http://facebook.com/togethershow">facebook.com/togethershow</a> Twitter and instagram are both @together_show, And you can always email me at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide</a>

S2 E12 Be Your Own Sexpert

We are community. We are our friends and family, and we cannot know ourselves without them.

Thanksgiving and Death (Essay)

Today’s episode kicks of the first of several stories on the topic of pornography.  Today, we’re hearing from Nate and Angilyn. Nate is the founder of a website and a podcast about marriage called <a href="http://First7Years.com">First7Years.com</a>. He’s also done a lovely TedX talk about love. He and Angilyn are both lifelong Mormons. They were both raised to believe that porn was inherently evil. They have a different view about it now, but I’ll let them tell the story. In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a <a href="http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">one minute survey</a> to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: <a href= "http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd</a> If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">subscriber</a>. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our <a href= "http://www.together.show">website</a>, or at <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a>. Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide.</a> Or contact us on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/togethershow/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook page</a>, on <a href="http://twitter.com/together_show" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Twitter</a>, or on Instagram <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/together_show/">@together_show</a>. The music on today’s episode was provided courtesy of Blue Dot Sessions. You can find them at <a href="http://sessions.blue" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sessions.blue</a>

S2E10 Two Mormons Walk Into A Strip Club...

The thing about the choice to stay or to go in any given relationship, is that we can never know what might have been. There’s no control group to test against for happiness in our life choices. We only know what’s right here, right now. Our guests this week – Thomas and Lauren – are facing that question of choice. How do you know when it’s right, and how do you know when it’s wrong? In some sense, you can’t know - you just have to take action. In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a <a href="http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">one minute survey</a> to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: <a href= "http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd</a> If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">subscriber</a>. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our <a href= "http://www.together.show">website</a>, or at <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a>. Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide.</a> Or contact us on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/togethershow/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook page</a>, on <a href="http://twitter.com/together_show" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Twitter</a>, or on Instagram <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/together_show/">@together_show</a>. The music on today’s episode was provided courtesy of Squire Tuck. You can find him at <a href= "https://soundcloud.com/squier-tuck">https://soundcloud.com/squier-tuck</a>

S2 E9 If Not Everything, Nothing - Thomas and Lauren

Our episode today is about the unpredictable results of difficult conversations. There’s gold in those hills if you have the courage to dig. Our guests today are avid prospectors, and they have a lot to teach us about the process of emotional inquiry. If you’d like to learn more about Bob, you can find his website at: <a href="http://bobschwenkler.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://bobschwenkler.com/</a> You can find Natalie and her new podcast, Taboo and Turn On at: <a href="http://natalievartanian.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">http://natalievartanian.com/</a> In other news, we're planning a relationship retreat, and we'd love your help getting it right. If you have the time, please fill out a <a href="http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">quick survey</a> to help us make this the best it can be. Here's a link to the survey: <a href= "http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">http://bit.ly/tgthrwknd</a> If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">subscriber</a>. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our <a href= "http://www.together.show">website</a>, or at <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a>. Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide.</a> Or contact us on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/togethershow/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook page</a>, on <a href="http://twitter.com/together_show" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Twitter</a>, or on Instagram <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/together_show/">@together_show</a>.

S2 E8  The Fascinations of Taboo and Turn On

Last week during our interview with Michael and Sara, you may remember they told us about a therapist they had worked with over Skype named <a href="http://www.alturtle.com/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener">Al Turtle</a>. Well I reached out to Al, and today we’ve got him on the show! It was a long interview. The portion of the conversation we’re playing focuses mostly on a specific debate: is all the inquiry into childhood trauma really necessary, or should we focus instead on behavior? Al’s answer is a good one. Listen in to find out what he says. You can find Al and all his writings at <a href= "http://www.alturtle.com/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">http://www.alturtle.com/</a> If you like what you've heard on our show, please support us by becoming a <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">subscriber</a>. Members get access to unedited interviews, bonus clips, early access to some of our episodes, and a community of other listeners. You can become a sponsor/subscriber on our <a href= "http://www.together.show">website</a>, or at <a href= "http://www.patreon.com/together">patreon.com/together</a>. Please don't be shy about letting us know what you think of our program. We love hearing from you. You can email Erik at <a href= "mailto:host@together.guide">host@together.guide.</a> Or contact us on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/togethershow/" target= "_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Facebook page</a>, on <a href="http://twitter.com/together_show" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Twitter</a>, or on Instagram <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/together_show/">@together_show</a>.

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#135

S3 EP2 - Shop Talk

#134

S3 EP1 - Season Opener: The Seminar Trap

#133

S2 E19 - Season Ender: The Badass Fat Ass

#132

S2 E18 From Shame To Intimacy - Megan and Brave

#131

S2 E17 - Catholic Swingers – It's Definitely A Thing

#130

S2 E16 - Emotional Labor

#129

S2 E15 We All Must Face Our Demons

#128

E2 S14 The Power Of A Shared Narrative

#127

S2 E13 Rape and Reconciliation

#126

S2 E12 Be Your Own Sexpert

#125

Thanksgiving and Death (Essay)

#124

S2E10 Two Mormons Walk Into A Strip Club...

#123

S2 E9 If Not Everything, Nothing - Thomas and Lauren

#122

S2 E8 The Fascinations of Taboo and Turn On

#121

S2 E7 - All The Relationship Tools You Never Learned