If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, <a href="https://www.growingself.com/stop-feeling-insecure/">this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure</a>. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. 
Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts.
We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame.
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship
07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust
10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy
18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs
26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection
30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness
35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick
37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship
As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself.
If communication is adding to the tension, try my <a href="https://www.growingself.com/communication/">Communication that Connects Masterclass</a>. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away!
You might also like my <a href="https://www.growingself.com/relationship-quiz/">How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz</a>. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care.
Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drlisamariebobby/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/drlisabobby">Facebook</a>, or <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@DrLisaMarieBobby/">YouTube</a>. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. <a href="https://forms.gle/zLfZfPomDgtQc1Jx8">Let’s talk</a>!
xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby<a href="https://www.growingself.com/">Growing Self</a>

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How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

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