Are you tired of saying yes when every part of you is screaming no?

In this week's episode of A Millennial Mind, I sit down with Annalie Howling — performance coach, trauma specialist, and boundaries queen — to unpack the truth about people pleasing, approval addiction, and why so many of us feel guilty putting ourselves first.

We dive deep into the psychology behind saying yes, how it’s linked to childhood conditioning, and what it actually takes to stop caring what everyone thinks. If you’ve ever been called “too nice,” struggled to set boundaries, or felt drained trying to please everyone — this one’s for you.

✨ Who It’s For:
Chronic people pleasers who can’t say no
Anyone struggling with guilt, shame, or overgiving
Women tired of being the “good girl”
Anyone learning to protect their peace & energy

💡 What You’ll Learn:
Why people pleasing starts — and how to break the pattern
How to set boundaries without guilt or fear
The link between self-worth and saying no
Practical tools to stop overgiving & reclaim your energy

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll just do it to keep the peace,” this is the episode for you. It’s time to stop being 'liked' - and start being respected.


00:00 Introduction – Why We People Please 
01:05 Meet Annalie Howling: Turning Pain into Purpose 
04:20 The Truth About People Pleasing and Self-Abandonment 
08:30 When Helping Others Becomes Self-Harm 
12:45 The Guilt of Saying No 
15:20 The Connection Between Guilt, Shame, and Self-Worth 
18:40 Trauma, Control, and Learned Helplessness 
23:10 Why Some People Resist Healing 
26:00 Narcissism, Victimhood, and Emotional Boundaries 
31:10 How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Selfish 
35:45 Understanding Shame in People Pleasing 
40:15 Fawning: The Hidden Trauma Response 
45:30 Healing from Childhood Shame and Conditioning 
49:50 Recognizing and Validating Your Own Trauma 
54:10 Breaking Generational Patterns of Guilt 
58:30 Setting Boundaries with Family and In-Laws 
01:02:10 Why “Good Girls” Struggle to Say No 
01:05:00 Speaking Up When It Feels Uncomfortable 
01:09:30 Letting Go of the Need to Please 
01:12:00 Final Reflections – Living Unapologetically

🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast 

✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨

Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind
Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau
Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast
Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/

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THIS Is Why You're A Chronic People Pleaser! (+ How To Fix It!) Annalie Howling | A Millennial Mind

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