I don’t have one simple answer to this. 
But I do have two rituals that have helped my husband and I enjoy almost 10 years of marriage - and a lot of life lived in that decade.
Fair Play, by Eve Rodsky: https://bit.ly/3aALiIT
Kat Cole + Daley Ervin Marriage Check-In: https://bit.ly/39BtAUi
The Questions:
1. …The best (thing, event, moment, memory)?
2. …The worst?
3. …One thing I can do differently (more, less, etc.) to be a more effective/better partner for you? 
We used to ask for only 1 thing, but a few years in, we wanted to get more specific, so we changed it to 1 thing to stop, 1 to start, and 1 to continue.
4.  Your biggest worry?
5.  Your biggest point of pride/brag?
6.  Your greatest gratitude?
7. Optional share: What is the thing that I/we spent money/time on that provides the most value /least value
8.  Goals check in - how can we help each other with goals or interests? Pick 1 or 2 & ask for/offer help
9.  Progress check - What is one thing I have improved and/or not improved (from our check-ins or stated commitments and goals)
10.  What is an area we want to improve or focus on with family?
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Q+A - How Do I Have A Happy Marriage?

1 Smart Thing