The dating industry profits by exploiting your insecurities. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593593987/?tag=jordanharbing-20" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Bonded by Evolution</a>&nbsp;author Paul Eastwick brings science to prove that even you can land love!Full show notes and resources can be found here: <a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/1309" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">jordanharbinger.com/1309</a>What We Discuss with Paul Eastwick:<ul><li>The concept of "mate value" — the idea that everyone is a fixed number on a scale of attractiveness — is largely unsupported by science. Studies show people only agree about who's attractive roughly 65% of the time, meaning a full third of the equation is purely subjective. Your "score" depends heavily on who's doing the scoring.</li><li>Dating apps force people into artificial filtering habits — like screening for height or income — not because those traits genuinely matter in face-to-face attraction, but because users are drowning in options and need some way to narrow the pile. In speed-dating studies, traits like height barely register as factors when people are actually interacting in person.</li><li>Your romantic partner likely sees you through a generous — and scientifically real — perceptual lens. Partners in happy relationships tend to rate each other as more attractive than outsiders would, and they instinctively "derogate alternatives," meaning they perceive potential rivals as less appealing. These biases aren't delusion — they're relationship glue.</li><li>The "evo script" — a set of ideas spun out of 1990s evolutionary psychology — overstates gender differences in attraction. Research shows that when men actually meet ambitious women face-to-face, they find them more attractive, not less. The gendered "money-for-looks" tradeoff doesn't hold up either — women trade resources for attractiveness just as often as men do.</li><li>Compatibility isn't something you discover on a profile — it's something you build in person. Give potential partners at least three dates in three different contexts, use fewer filters, and treat early dating less like an evaluation and more like a collaboration. The science says the best relationships often grow from repeated, low-pressure, real-world interactions — so get offline, get curious, and give people a real chance.</li><li>And much more...</li></ul><a href="https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1344999619?mt=2&ls=1" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here</a> — even one sentence helps! <ul><li>Sign up for <a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/course" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Six-Minute Networking</a> — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at <a href="https://jordanharbinger.com/course" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">jordanharbinger.com/course</a>!</li><li>Subscribe to our once-a-week <a href="https://www.jordanharbinger.com/news/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Wee Bit Wiser</a> newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!</li><li>Do you even Reddit, bro? <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/JordanHarbinger/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Join us at r/JordanHarbinger</a>!</li></ul>This Episode Is Brought To You By <a href="https://www.jordanharbinger.com/deals/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Our Fine Sponsors</a>: <ul><li>Booking.com: <a href="https://booking.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Book your getaway now with booking.com</a></li><li>DripDrop: <a href="https://dripdrop.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">20% off: DripDrop.com, code JORDAN</a></li><li>Marathon Rewards: <a href="https://www.marathonarcorewards.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Sign up today: marathonrewards.com</a></li><li>Saily: <a href="https://saily.com/jordanharbinger" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">15% off: saily.com/jordanharbinger, code JORDANHARBINGER</a></li><li>Booking.com: <a href="https://booking.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Book your getaway now with booking.com</a></li></ul>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

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1309: Paul Eastwick | Science Says You're More Attractive Than You Know

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