When you&#39;ve got kids with someone, you need to be able to cooperate. But what do you do if your ex is emotionally unstable/volatile, physically or emotionally abusive, or otherwise difficult?Most partners don&#39;t start out that way, of course. As one man put it, it felt more like &#34;the ground could be kind of unstable&#34; in the relationship. Another said, &#34;I was hyper-aware of her emotions all the time, and trying to minimize her upheaval.&#34;Maybe the two of you have even tried seeing a couple&#39;s counselor. But it didn&#39;t work -- or in some cases, even seemed to make things worse. Says one man, &#34;Even in therapy, a lot of it was, ‘You’re the cause of this.’&#34;Here, three men share their personal experiences of co-parenting with challenging partners -- women who often have traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).They go into what it was like being in the relationship, the progression from being a childless couple to having children together, and then the journey out. They share both practical and emotional tips about co-parenting, and offer what they&#39;ve learned along the way.If you&#39;re in this situation, may this help to light the way.<h3>Memorable quotes:</h3><ul><li>“She said things like, ‘You have ruined my life, and caused me more trauma.’”</li><li>“It’s hard to see that stuff when you’re in it.”</li><li>“In reality, we just had wounds that sort of fit well together at the time.”</li><li>“I told myself I had a loyalty to her.”</li><li>“I had so much fear of, &#39;What’s gonna happen if I actually follow through?&#39;”</li><li>“At some point I didn’t feel safe; I felt threatened.”</li><li>“What made things better for everyone, including my ex, was strong, healthy boundaries.”</li></ul>---<h3>Mentioned on this episode:</h3><ul><li>Dear Men 128: Feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality Disorder (ft. Violet Lange)</li><li>Book: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, by Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger</li><li>Book: Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Y. Manning, PhD</li><li>Book: Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy, Randi Kreger, et al</li><li>Book: Parallel Parenting -- The Only Way to Co-parent with a Narcissist: Managing a Counter Parent, Setting Boundaries, and Protecting Your Child From Parental Alienation by Wendy Carter</li><li>Article: <a href="https://themighty.com/topic/borderline-personality-disorder/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-fictional-characters/" rel="nofollow">25 Fictional Characters People With Borderline Personality Disorder Relate To</a> (<a href="https://themighty.com/topic/borderline-personality-disorder/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-fictional-characters/" rel="nofollow">https://themighty.com/topic/borderline-personality-disorder/bpd-borderline-personality-disorder-fictional-characters/</a>)</li></ul>

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386: GuyTalk: How do you co-parent with a challenging partner? (including Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women

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