Chris Voss is a former FBI lead kidnapping negotiator, bestselling author of Never Split The Difference, and founder and CEO of The <a href="https://www.blackswanltd.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=goodinsidepodcast" rel="noopener noreferrer">Black Swan Group</a>; a negotiation, training, coaching, and consulting organization that teaches people how to achieve better outcomes in high-stakes conversations. Today, he teaches some of these same skills to parents - and it turns out the thing that gets a hostage-taker to put down a weapon isn't that different from what gets your eight-year-old to put down the tablet.Obviously, kids aren’t actual hostage-takers, but in this conversation, Chris and Dr. Becky get into why kids saying "no" is actually a sign of a healthy nervous system, not defiance. Why "how was your day" always gets you "fine," and the one-word fix that doesn't. Why asking your kid "why" almost always backfires, and what to ask instead. And the reframe Chris uses with his own team to get a reluctant partner, coworker, or teenager to actually engage: "are you against this?"*Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:<ul><li><a href="https://frida.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Frida</a>: Shop Frida at Amazon, Target, and Walmart today</li><li><a href="https://click.pscrb.fm/2f" rel="noopener noreferrer">Airbnb</a>: Host your home or book your next stay on Airbnb</li><li><a href="https://www.smartypantsvitamins.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">SmartyPants</a>: Shop SmartyPants Vitamins at Target, Walmart, or Amazon today</li><li><a href="http://care.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Care.com</a>: For a limited time, you can use the code BECKY35 to save 35% on a <a href="http://care.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Care.com</a> Premium Membership.*</li><li>Offer applies to initial term of <a href="http://care.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Care.com</a> membership subscriptions. Not applicable to add-on features or non-renewing access fees or services. Expires 10/31/26. <a href="http://care.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer">Care.com</a> does not employ or place any caregiver. Background checks are an important start, but they have limits. Visit <a href="http://www.care.com/safety" rel="noopener noreferrer">www.care.com/safety</a>.</li></ul> Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Stop Asking "Why" - What an FBI Negotiator Teaches Parents Instead

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