Janene Lin loathed the moment when the dinner bill would hit the table. When her date would pay, she felt like her love was for sale. Splitting the bill felt like no one had anything at stake. Most of the time, she would pay the bill herself, but that left her feeling uncared-for. So Janene prepared a pitch: On her next date, her third with a man named Aodhán, she would ask to open a joint bank account.On this episode of Modern Love, Lin tells our host, Anna Martin, why this risky move felt like the best solution, how Aodhán reacted and what it taught her about what money means to her and her family.This episode is adapted from Janene Lin’s essay <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/03/style/modern-love-when-the-woman-pays-for-dinner-every-time.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The Woman Who Always Paid for Dinner</a>.Here’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">how to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times</a>.Here’s <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">how to submit a Tiny Love Story</a>.
Subscribe today at <a href="http://nytimes.com/podcasts">nytimes.com/podcasts</a> or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher">here</a>. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at <a href="https://nytimes.com/app">nytimes.com/app</a>. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See <a href="https://pcm.adswizz.com">pcm.adswizz.com</a> for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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