Ever had a five-minute conversation that felt like you’d known someone for years? That’s not luck — it’s a loop. In this short, high-impact episode, AJ and Johnny break down the 90-second formula for instant connection.
You’ll learn how to spot subtle “bids” for attention, validate emotional cues, and shift conversations from surface-level small talk to real trust and rapport. This isn’t networking fluff — it’s a science-backed conversational loop you can use in meetings, dates, sales calls, or social events to turn polite chats into powerful relationships.
Whether you want to build influence, deepen trust fast, or simply stop missing connection opportunities, this episode gives you a repeatable framework to make conversations stick.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] The 90-second loop for instant connection
[00:00:31] Why polite conversations fall flat
[00:00:52] What a “bid” is and how to spot it
[00:02:06] How validation lowers threat and builds trust
[00:03:14] The “we” bridge — shifting from me vs. you
[00:04:51] Real-world example: meeting someone new at an event
[00:07:21] Using the loop in client and sales conversations
[00:09:20] Emotional signals to listen for (and mirror)
[00:11:24] How “we statements” build subconscious connection
[00:12:32] The micro step — why small, soon, and specific wins
[00:14:14] Common mistakes that break connection
[00:16:38] Final recap: Spot. Validate. Bridge. Micro step.

A Word From Our Sponsors
Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at <a href="unlockyourxfactor.com">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
 The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the <a href="artofcharm.com/intel%20">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back.
Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at <a href="http://quince.com/charm">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a> for free shipping and hassle-free returns.
Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at <a href="makeheadway.com/CHARM%20">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>and use my code CHARM for 25% off. 
Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at <a href="http://shopify.com/charm">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>.
Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at <a href="http://indeed.com/CHARM">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>.
This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at <a href="mintmobile.com/charm">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at <a href="SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a> TODAY to get started 
Curious about your influence level? 
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at <a href="http://theartofcharm.com/influence">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>.
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajharbinger/">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-dzubak-b5182687/">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/ajharbinger/">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/theartofcharm">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/pickuppodcastvideos">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>
<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@theartofcharm">⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠</a>

 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a>

Podurama

Home

Trending

Personal

Your Podcasts

New Episodes

My Files

Favourite Episodes

Tags (Folders)

Recently Played

Bookmarks

Followed Playlists

The 90-Second Bonding Loop | Social Intel Brief

The Art of Charm

AI Chapters

AI Insights

Reviews