Instead of making unrealistic promises to yourself this year, let The Daily Show do it for you. Take a listen back to American Resolutions: A Series of Human Interest Stories Used to Emotionally Manipulate You. 
Jon Stewart introduces Rob Cordry, who resolves to have a threesome. Nate Cordry steps up to show them, show them all... Ed Helms vows to improve himself, starting with a new job. Jason Jones takes the viewer on a journey into underwhelming fatherhood. Finally, Stephen Colbert offers up his own resolutions, for Jon to work on. 
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