<p>In resolving hundreds of kidnap-for-ransom cases involving gang leaders, pirates, and extortionists, Scott Walker, a former Scotland Yard detective, has learned a thing or two about how to negotiate and communicate in a crisis. He shares how to apply those lessons to the difficult conversations we all have in our everyday lives in his book <a href="https://amzn.to/4crxzoh"><i>Order Out of Chaos: Win Every Negotiation, Thrive in Adversity, and Become a World-Class Communicator</i></a>, and we talk about his tips on today's show.</p><p>Scott and I discuss what a "red center" means in a kidnap-for-ransom scenario and how to create one in your personal life, the "immediate action drill" that can help you stay in that red center, the importance of separating the decision-maker from the communicator in a negotiation and having a "battle rhythm," why you don't give hostage takers the money they ask for right away and how to structure a negotiation instead, and more.</p><h2>Resources Related to the Podcast</h2><ul><li><a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/" target="_blank">AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood</a></li><li><a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/podcast-648-lessons-in-building-rapport-from-experts-in-terrorist-interrogation/" target="_blank">AoM Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation</a></li><li><a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/wealth/podcast-234-haggling-and-deal-making-advice-from-a-fbi-hostage-negotiator/" target="_blank">AoM Podcast #234: Haggling and Deal Making Advice From a FBI Hostage Negotiator</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6RbW2LtdFs" target="_blank">Box breathing</a></li><li><a href="https://youtu.be/KxOSlR_Mf-s?si=FQ3DAgXMt7hWNPij&t=93">Physiological sigh</a></li></ul><h2><strong>Connect With Scott Walker</strong></h2><ul><li><a href="https://www.scottwalkerbooks.co.uk/" target="_blank">Scott's website</a></li></ul><img src="https://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2024/03/61caJycVi7L._SL1500_.jpg" alt="" />


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Tips From a Hostage Negotiator on Handling Difficult Conversations

The Art of Manliness