<a target="_blank" href="https://www.buzzsprout.com/twilio/text_messages/275835/open_sms">Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.</a>Question: We adopted our son at birth, and he is about to turn one already. I deeply care about his birth parents and have tried very hard to maintain a relationship with them. Even during many months of no contact, I think about them every day. Our only post-placement visit with them was at 2 1/2 months. They have no-showed for all the other visits they asked for, and have gone several months at a time without responding to contact. They missed a visit 2 weeks ago and have finally reached back out asking to plan another. Visits require 6 hours of driving and coordinating time off from work. They do not drive and would not have any means of travelling to us. Our plan was to do visits 2-4 times a year. We offered to plan another visit the week of his birthday. I also offered to send weekly text updates. I work in healthcare and need to be very present in my job and prefer not to be on my phone when I am home with my family, so I do not text anyone much during the week. I am now being asked to provide daily updates and to do visits monthly. I don't even respond to my best friend more than once or twice a week because it is hard for me to keep up with messages. I am also not convinced that increasing the frequency of visits will help them follow through on attending them due to the pattern that has occurred so far. I am feeling overwhelmed and unsure how to move forward in a way that is loving and respectful, but also sustainable for our family and best for our son.Resources:<ul><li><a href='https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/5-tips-for-navigating-sticky-situations-with-birth-parents/'>5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth Parents</a></li><li><a href='https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/creating-relationship-with-birth-parents-in-adoption/'>Creating Relationship with Birth Parents in Adoption (Even When It's Hard!)</a></li><li><a href='https://creatingafamily.org/foster-care/fostering-blog/mama-on-earth-a-guest-article-on-co-parenting/'>Mama on Earth: A Guest Article on Co-Parenting</a></li><li><a href='https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/open-adoption-can-be-messy/'>Open Adoption Can Be Messy</a></li><li><a href='https://creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-blog/our-1-secret-tip-for-navigating-open-adoption/'>Our #1 Secret Tip for Navigating Open Adoption</a></li></ul><a rel="payment" href="https://creatingafamily.org/donation/">Support the show</a>Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by <a href='http://www.creatingafamily.org/'>www.CreatingaFamily.org</a>. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: <ul> <li>Weekly <a href='https://creatingafamily.org/category/radio-show/'>podcasts</a> </li> <li>Weekly <a href='https://creatingafamily.org/blog/'>articles/blog posts</a> </li> <li> <a href='https://creatingafamily.org/'>Resource pages</a> on all aspects of family building</li> </ul>

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