Dr. Cassidy Freitas grew up watching her mom — a Hispanic judge who fought her way into white male spaces with no margin for error — come home carrying that same no-error version of herself. Her dad pushed straight A's as the path to financial safety. She absorbed all of it.
And then she became a mom.
She had a plan. A written, formatted, shared-with-her-doctor birth plan. When it fell apart in the operating room — her daughter already here, her husband saying "look at her," and Cassidy turning her face away — the drive that had gotten her through everything else had nothing to offer her.
Dr. Cassidy is a therapist and the author of <a href="https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/dr-cassidy-freitas-phd-lmft/mom-needs-a-moment/9781523533534/?lens=workman-publishing-company" rel="noopener noreferrer">Mom Needs a Moment</a>. In this conversation with Dr. Becky, she traces how perfectionism forms in childhood as a survival strategy, why it works right up until you have a baby, and what it actually looks like to loosen the grip without losing your edge.
There's a phrase she comes back to: context is the bridge to compassion. You can't have compassion for the way perfectionism shows up in you as a mom if you don't understand where it came from.
*
Looking for more support navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and life with a new baby? <a href="https://www.goodinside.com/lp/baby/?utm_source=podcast_baby&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=traffic_evergreen_podcast&utm_content=shownotes_06182026_Maguire" rel="noopener noreferrer">Good Inside Baby</a> gives you practical tools, scripts, and expert guidance for the moments that can feel most overwhelming in early parenthood.
Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:
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