Kids fighting in the car is a common occurrence and is often a headache for most parents.  This is a mini-bonus episode where Leslie and her producer Alletta Cooper discuss a number of strategies to help kids sit with discomfort, learn to deal with boredom and maybe along the way have some time to daydream - a way to exercise a valuable part of the brain.  Screens and phones are not on the Do-Not-Use list but rather are understood for ways in which they too can be helpful.  Time Stamps2:15 The arrangement strategy - rearranging the kids 3:12 Acknowledge that screens are not good or bad<ul><li>For the short term it works - kids are quiet</li><li>Can you modulate the length of time that kids are on screens</li></ul>4:10  What’s missing when your kids are on screens<ul><li>Learning to tolerate discomfort, differences and boredom</li><li>Missing the opportunity for daydreaming</li><li>6:10  The creativity, the connection and the inventiveness of making up games</li></ul>6:49 Kids in the car are a captive audience and often use that time to talk 7:42 Pulling Over Strategy - a non-threatening strategy10:25 Kids can learn that they have a lot of power when it comes to the fighting with sibling11:35 The Ticket System Strategy - this system teaches children its safe to make mistakes13:50 Consequences not punishment - non judgmentally14:40 Payback System Strategy - based on the concept of community service 16:30 Books on tape, family reading - again as a captive audience17:25 Plan Ahead Strategy17:45 Mindfulness Skills of Observation - paying attention to what is around (DBT skills)18:28 Check in with yourself and ask “am  I capable of tolerating this now?” Leslie-ism:  Give your children the gift of daydreaming time Resources:  <a href='https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcast_07_31_23/'>Is My Child A Monster? Episode 14</a> Skills Focus on Apologies with Special Guest Dale Rubury - Leslie Discusses the Payback Concept For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit <a href='https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/'>https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/</a> . You can also follow Leslie’s work on <a href='https://www.facebook.com/lesliecohenrubury'>Facebook</a>,  <a href='https://www.instagram.com/lesliecohenrubury/'>Instagram</a>, <a href='https://www.tiktok.com/@lesliecohenrubury'>TikTok</a> and <a href='https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVcszFgY4rjHqO6-sUA5PFw'>YouTube</a>. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by <a href='https://www.allettacooper.com/'>Alletta Cooper</a>, <a href='http://camilasalazar.org/'>Camila Salazar</a>, and <a href='https://lesliecohenrubury.com/'>Leslie Cohen-Rubury</a>. Theme music is by <a href='https://www.premiumbeat.com/artist/l-ray-music'>L-Ray Music</a>. Graphics and Website Design by <a href='https://www.sabordesign.com/'>Brien O’Reilly</a>. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury.  A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

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Bonus Episode: Managing Car Rides With Kids

Is My Child A Monster? A Parenting Therapy Podcast

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