Growing up in a family that prized achievement over vulnerability, a man’s troubled relationship with his older brother ends in devastating loss, sending him on a decades-long search to understand the guilt and shame he left behind.Today’s episode featured Chad Herst. If you’d like to reach out to Chad, you can email him at <a href="mailto:chad@herstwellness.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">chad@herstwellness.com</a>. Chad is on LinkedIn @ <a href="http://linkedin.com/in/chad-herst-6040629" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">linkedin.com/in/chad-herst-6040629</a>Chad Herst is an executive coach and acupuncturist in Sebastopol, California, and the author of The Performance Trap: The Ache No Success Will Ever Fix, out October 1, 2026. The book grew out of the story told in this episode. Website: <a href="http://herstwellness.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">herstwellness.com</a>, where the opening chapter is available free.ProducersWhit Missildine, Andrew Waits, Aviva LipkowitzContent/Trigger WarningsSuicide, suicidal ideation, mental illness, substance abuse, bullying and hazing, physical abuse, family dysfunction, psychiatric hospitalization, grief and traumatic loss, explicit language.Social Media<ul><li>Instagram: @actuallyhappening</li><li>Facebook: This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group</li><li>Website: <a href="http://thisisactuallyhappening.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thisisactuallyhappening.com</a></li></ul>&nbsp;Substack - Beyond the Story<a href="http://whitmissildine.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">whitmissildine.substack.com</a>If you’d like to share an UNSAID short story from your life, you can find it on our website: <a href="https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/submittheendoftheknown" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thisisactuallyhappening.com/submittheendoftheknown</a> or on the Substack at <a href="http://whitmissildine.substack.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">whitmissildine.substack.com</a>.&nbsp;Support the Show on Substack by becoming a Paid SubscriberFree subscribers get access to Whit’s weekly episode reflections and some show updates.Paid subscribers get access to AMAs with the team, follow up interviews with past guests, frequently asked questions, deeper insights into the creative process of the show and live events. A paid Substack subscription is also the best way to support the show.&nbsp;You can also support on Patreon&nbsp;<ul><li><a href="http://patreon.com/happening" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">patreon.com/happening</a></li></ul>Website for Whit Missildine<ul><li><a href="http://whitmissildine.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">whitmissildine.com</a></li></ul>Website for Andrew Waits<ul><li><a href="http://andrdewwaits.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">andrdewwaits.com</a></li></ul>Website for Aviva Lipkowitz<ul><li><a href="http://avivalipkowitz.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">avivalipkowitz.com</a></li></ul>Subscribe on Audible to Listen Ad-FreeAudible subscribers can listen to all episodes of THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING ad-free right now. Join Audible today by downloading the Audible app or visit <a href="http://audible.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Audible.com</a>.Shop at the StoreFind This Is Actually Happening branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop:<ul><li><a href="http://thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop</a></li></ul>&nbsp;TranscriptsFull transcripts of each episode are now available on the website:<ul><li><a href="http://thisisactuallyhappening.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">thisisactuallyhappening.com</a></li></ul>&nbsp;MusicIntro Music:<ul><li>"Sleep Paralysis" – Scott Velasquez</li></ul>Music Bed:<ul><li>Salib (SAL) - Tension Underscore 33A</li></ul>&nbsp;ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources:<ul><li>National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Text or Call 988</li><li>National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): 1-800-950-6264</li><li>National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)</li></ul>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.

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